I erase my sexual tape, and start over. Am I male, female, gay, straight? Uh-oh! What SPECIES?
CAUTION: MESSY SEXUAL BOOBOOS
I'm pregnant. I feel abortion's wrong, but can I safely bear a child at 45? But then...
It's my son's ex-girlfriend who's pregnant and my son's the father! But then...
It's my daughter who's pregnant. At least her boyfriend's supportive. But...
CAUTION: THIS FETUS GETS AROUND
An old actor tells me "I met Hitler when we were both babies.
I knew what was coming so I wanted to kill him, but then I'd BE him..."
Allied submarines attack the giant Nazi toddler who's hunting us with sonar, occupying my playroom...
CAUTION: VIOLENCE AND GUILT
I'm very pregnant and feel bloated. My mom says "That's what you get for not using a condom"...
I asked my dreams why my back hurt. They told me: pregnancy, marsupial pouches, snapping turtles...
I pass a jogger with her upper torso twisted 180 degrees round, unable to see straight...
CAUTION: DISSES IGNORAMUSES--YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. OH WAIT, YOU DON'T.
No matter who I dream I am, twin secret agents dog me, eating my soup, playing my games...
CAUTION: PHILOSOPHY!
I show a friend my book of dream-art, but it's half-baked and embarrassing.
I'm no good at smuggling guns, porn or cash through customs, either...
CAUTION: LOW-RES SMUT IN THAT BOOK
A second me punches me in the breast. I fight back, yelling
"Bad Nancy! Bad Nancy!" Five months later I find a malignancy...
Having psychic dreams is awkward. People bite you for seeing their secrets...
I'm in psychoanalysis. A diagnostic chart maps which areas of my psyche are bad:
nearly all of them. My therapist says "My God, how did your parents raise you?"
I dream I'm being slandered by the leaders of a dream organization! Turns out it's quite true...
Drunk, I fight writer Peter Beagle. He falls. Out cold. I wake sure I'm a killer...
Next day I read Ellen Klages's Passing Strange. Its climactic scene is curiously familiar...
The panther in the Jungle Books was really female. I grew up with her cub...
I dream I've carried a photo with me 17 years, but now... I BAKE it. The next day, I meet...
Silky, my sentient starship, gives me a scolding about playing it safe...
A whale-spirit marries a poker-player. But her sonar sees too much. Whale-spirits prefer blackjack...
I'm in a cafe listening to a world-famous musician. He wanders the tables
begging for spare change as businessmen talk over his signature song...
CAUTION: TRUMP AND COVID, SIGH...
Dancers in 18th Century gowns emerged from a curtain with paintings of ballerinas in the same gowns...
A boy leaps from a runaway balloon, falls 100' into a pond, and floats face-down.
I'm sure he's dead, but when a woman fishes him out...
While writing about Tibetan dreamwork, I dream I'm on drugs and see myself in a mirror, first old &
scarred, then young & sexcrazed. I think "This'd scare me if I hadn't been reading up on Yoga stuff!"...
I'm a schoolkid again, fleeing an eruption of sewage. We escape in a balloon.
Earth is beautiful, but I know this flood of shit will drown the whole world...
The Ice Hotel, where all my selves are sealed. Can we thaw Einstein? Balolokong the Rainsnake says...
An experiment to see if pie can substitute for REM seems to work at first, but after the third slice
the subject grows less enthused. By slice six, he dreams he's forcing that pie down the experimenter...
My figure-painting class here in San Francisco has a diverse student body, but not THIS diverse...
CAUTION: NUDITY
After a day of enduring reverse sexism, a silly dream of giant banana slugs turns out to be psychic...
CAUTION: ANTIMALE SEXISM
Giant snakes chased me. I go lucid, turn & slay one. As I woke, the snakes cried. So I re-entered...
CAUTION: SNAKES, BEHEADING, REHEADING
I find myself working in a bank that won't let us do our jobs. Only one guy can disburse cash!
Lines of angry customers. If management won't change the rules, I'll have to quit...
CAUTION: PREDICTIVE!
Lily & Wayan have simultaneous dreams of bizarre quarrels over seating bankers at picnic tables...
On a bar bet, we seek God. We reach the Isles of the Blessed, but they're complacent. We want the wild
God, the real God, the Bad Taste God. Onward, pagan questers! Because we want to win our bet.
CAUTION: LAZY-ASS ANGELS
I meet a sex-kitten in the Underground Cartoonists' Bar, but her body language makes no sense to me...
CAUTION: UNDERAGE FLIRTATION... OR IS IT?
I dreamt I walked barefoot on newly fallen snow...
I'm half-naked at an arty dinner party, talking to a man I really think I ought to recognize... who is he?
CAUTION: TOPLESS JUNGIAN
An owl flew at me, and I fused with it. The next thing I knew, I was a redtail hawk...
Alien robots kidnap me... and make me the mascot for a college football team.
But my Channel Changer slowly infuses us all with nerdy trust...
The Prime Minister of England breaks my nose, so I become a flock
of squirrels to seek revenge. But maybe I should I let it go...
Our toy train full of nude baseball players went under the park sprinklers, so naturally our
shortstop shelters her friend the outfielder snake. But in there? Isn't it just as wet in there?
CAUTION: SCALY SEX
In old Egypt, a part of me sabotages my audience with Bast, the Cat Goddess. Why?
Since I'm half-unicorn, my ambition drives me to share power and help the whole
herd--that's how unicorns rise. But among human politicians...
I'm an orphaned bat in an alley in a storm. I mistake a broken old umbrella's ribs & flaps
for... my Mom! I unfold Mom, and discover...
CAUTION: LIFE-THREATENING CHILD NEGLECT
Boating, we land on a cape and find a house with a Rembrandt on the wall--Bathsheba
holding a letter from David her lover, pregnant with thoughts as well as child...
CAUTION: NUDE SKETCH
A New Age graduation party spurs a wild dream of the spiritual odyssey of Catwoman,
starring Alexander the Great, Batman, God, and Rumi the poet (played by Frank Zappa)...
CAUTION: MORAL RELATIVITY
I'm a battered girl who sings in a mall. The Dictator (of all people) helps me start healing and learn to fly...
CAUTION: BATTERING AND ITS CONSEQUENT DAMAGE
In a corrupt world, a talisman called the Rai Dragon offers hope of real change--
IF it can be found, AND used by someone decent-hearted...
Augustus was ill, but a friend's dream prompted him to leave his tent before Brutus's assassins...
DREAM: a great bird carries me to Mecca, Yemen, India, the south sea islands, China, the snowy north...
AWAKE: My host says it means I'll travel the world--but he adds "in India, my brother will save your life"...
I'm naked, flirting with two cute women. People can see us in our bay window, but I just don't care....
CAUTION: CARTOON NUDITY
"There is going to be an explosion of two or three million gallons of oil or gasoline..."
I burst into tears for no reason and for 15 minutes begged my brother-in-law not to go, then said...
CAUTION: GRUESOME
I had to negotiate a salary for hosting a radio show. I'd never done such a thing. I asked my dreams.
I was shown a land of ruthless warriors with a bushido code. So I went in tough, stayed tough, and...
Birds enchant me, and they long have frequented my dreams.
Sometimes, as in The Beach, I am a bird/woman...
Fresh off the Beagle, Darwin meets three wolf-girls, but has distinctly Biblical inhibitions...
CAUTION: EXHIBITIONISM, SPECISM, PUNS
Beagle's fantasies, from The Last Unicorn to The Innkeeper's Song, closely resemble
my dreams. The ways we differ say more about our spiritual orientation than about our art...
I'm a dance teacher, I'm King Kong, I'm a shell-shocked elf, I'm a wild bird flying...
CAUTION: GAY-POSITIVE ROLE MODELS, OH NO!
I don't know beans about right action, so Kokoro, master chef
of the Bean Bar, teaches me the stages of true mastery...
There's a large bear wandering the museum, and somehow I feel good about it...
Bear lady, bare lady,
in (or out of) a bear suit...
There are many astral planes--this world's just the cellar.
A cat and a bird in love, a literate bear and I guard the astral stair...
Night. Home alone. A huge bear breaks in! To defend myself, I have
a chainsaw. Curiously, an electric not a gas-powered chainsaw...
A bear rips open my wall and guides me into a psychedelic space where I learn to see with new eyes...
My family has a hidden gene for incest--and griffins.
When I bring the family skeleton from the closet...
CAUTION: RAPE, INCEST
I screw the lightbulbs in my ears again, and this time, they stay. I sit down at the piano, and as I play...
The Goddess won't tell me who to seek, to love, just WHAT to seek--and what not to...
CAUTION: DIVINELY SANCTIONED TRIGAMY?
The beauty parlor on the edge of the canyon crawls with rattlesnakes.
I float in the air above, but even up here, knots of levitating snakes...
I sculpted a plaster abstract, then found it wasn't. A vortext of bedsheets, faces, hands, bodies...
I dreamt my mother visited, which she never does. The house was full of bedbugs! Three months later...
Two time-traveling paleontologists get a gift from their friend the Bee Queen. A gift with six-inch fangs...
I heard a noise out my window. I looked out, and saw something strange...
A bee-doctor in the city of Propolopolis diagnoses me as having a rare syndrome, Ambition Denied...
On my first trip to Europe, I found bees there live in boxes. They came to me in my dream to say "We are slowly
starving, as humans kill the flowers and trees we need." They asked me to warn the white people, who are deaf...
Parasites, Rambo, huge fetus-beets, an exhibitionist and a living statue advise me on my love life...
CAUTION: NUDITY
A black beetle insists I'm not needed or at home in the human world; my lifework is elsewhere...
A beetle helps me on a fairytale quest, then founds a great house;
but only a year later, he's an ancient patriarch, and I'm still young...
In the cathedral, before the nation, I solemnly crown someone with my own detached head...
Two rivals stand for reason & intuition. Why can't they
cooperate, see each others' virtues? Trained insecurity...
I hide a catgirl behind Japanese screens. We have hot sex now & then--but usually I ignore her...
CAUTION: SEX; NEGLECT
Anti-ideological rant calling experience water and belief... ice.
My take on IQ, racism, Murray and Herrnstein's notorious book, and the theory of multiple intelligence.
As an (ex)child prodigy it's not theoretical for me: broken hearts, broken trust, broken ribs...
CAUTION: LONG WORDS, RAMPANT ELITISM, GENIUS SHOPTALK
A human pinball game played in the dark, with bells for stoppers, sorting people into a Gaussian bell-curve...
A knight falls in love with a fey woman, until her previous victims warn him in a nightmare that she is...
CAUTION: GOTH TO THE MAX
I'll win a house if I can survive a night in the Haunted Pavilion! But I've been here before--before I was born...
CAUTION: GHOST ORGY
On the bridge between waking and dreaming, a jet plane duels a T. Rex. But
the jet strays into dream space, becoming a pterosaur--and soon, Rex lunch...
A shy woman's belt slowly comes alive, but like most snakes, it has weak eyes. Would glasses help?...
A publishing-house error made them reject Tolkien's mythical work, and demand a sequel to The Hobbit...
As I tour an English estate, wrinkled green elephantine creatures 20' tall peer at me through huge spectacles.
I'm told "they're only kept now for their singing." I want to hear, but my guide's bored; I let her drag me off...
CAUTION: CONFORMITY STIFLES SHAMANISM
My neighborhood becomes a Huck Finn Eden after global warming turns it into a tropical island...
CAUTION: NUDITY, AMBITOPIA
My kidnappers were desperate: no jobs. I fled them down the berry chute, to the underground
strawberry factory where engineers in go-go boots did the berry dance--and the berries...
CAUTION: STRAWBERRY FETISH
My top-heavy friend Beryl borrows my ass and legs to become
a centaur so she won't fall over. But I want them back, so...
CAUTION: CRUDE AND STUPID
My friend Beryl wants me to help rob a bank, so she can
cut off her breasts and be a great opera singer...
My friend Beryl's ghost makes mad love to me--just long enough to swipe my Kundalini energy...
CAUTION: SUCCUBISM?
Bess painted images that look like abstract symbols
but actually flashed in front of him when half asleep...
I'm at an all-geek banquet! We're all shy; we just can't do
smalltalk. Then the hostess explains why she chose us...
Rajiv keeps trying to convince me it's the best hotel in India: the orgy of biters, the
bowls of twitching fingers. But it's only the oracular spirits that really impress me...
CAUTION: CREEPY FINGERS
A capsule history of a taboo that changed startlingly over 3000 years... does sin depend on timing?
CAUTION: SEX TALK, TABOOS
As humans settle infospace, will we cheat other species trying to evolve into people?
Are we already doing it? Admiring & documenting creatures we've written off as doomed?
CAUTION: NUDE CREATURES; DISTURBING PREMISE
As I hike across the tundra to win a bet with God, I realize I've been subtly betraying my dreams...
I was moved that Betty came to see my two babies despite her illness, but shocked when her father told me...
A sex-ghost appears in my bed, but when overstimulated,
she tends to fade out. Bad reception!...
CAUTION: SEX
I'm a fairy queen at the beach, chasing a girl who's a strong swimmer. Yep, she swims beyond the buoys...
CAUTION: BAD LESBIAN PUNS
In the future, books morph as they crawl round the web, till just the popular bits are left...
CAUTION: YOU TOO COULD BE CENSORED
The Evil Librarians drop a 19th Century book-character on my head--a blue-skinned paranoid!
He tries to kill me with a trident missing one prong... a Bident? Oh, no! He's Joe B...
CAUTION: DIM VIEW OF TWO 2020 CANDIDATES
I'm a girl being stalked. I get drastic--scrunch up the universe & shake it out! And is THAT enough?
CAUTION: ANXIETY, GUILT, POSSIBLE APOCALYPSE
Two DC-6s catch burn over New York. Me? I'm a naked child in a Babylonian temple in Jersey...
My abstract sculpture just got fishier and fishier, til it grew these big red lips...
A sad, frail, very pregnant woman with dark brown hair told me she was my boyfriend's wife. The next day...
Idiotically, I bet I can escape an atomic bomb on my bike. Maybe if I ignore stoplights...
CAUTION: IRRESPONSIBLE WEAPONS USE
Two unarmed sisters on bikes easily defeated a dragon, but in a
rematch he killed them, and all other challengers. What changed?
DAY: I bike across San Francisco writing down what I actually see.
DREAM: I'm an abused English heiress with a dangerous alien artifact...
CAUTION: HAUNTED BY CHILD ABUSE
I'm biking in a construction zone behind a car with a rounded top like a VW Beetle
but with a flared skirt like a bell. It stops. I brake but go right up that fringe over the roof...
My mother begged me to stay in. I went out with Bill--who raped me. Mom later told me she'd dreamed...
CAUTION: DATE RAPE
I'm Bill Cosby's wife, finding it hard to cook for him without a stove or fridge...
CAUTION: SLANDER, I HOPED. I HOPED WRONG.
My son Billie, his Navy uniform soaking wet, cried "Oh, Mom--it's so terrible!"
and shrank into a baby again as I held him...
CAUTION: EXPLOSION
I was in a jungle, seeing birth, growth and death--the entire web of life at once...
Tour bizarre worlds most exobiologists would dismiss as hopeless for life--and meet the natives...
CAUTION: SEXY ALIENS, WEIRD CUSTOMS, EVOLUTION
I'm a giant cartoon bird. I had to assassinate a friend--twelve times!
Eleven times I killed him, but I spared him the twelfth. He said...
Should Anna quit hiding her psychic dreams? She dreams a cat eats her bird & burglars loot an open house.
Maybe keep hiding?
Such pressures there are on the sick to act well! I implore you, ignore them all...
CAUTION: EXPLODING TEACHER
A bizarre marathon, and the Princess is the prize. But she doesn't WANT to be, so she sets out...
CAUTION: BLOODY BIRD
In the canyon behind our home, a steel-clawed birdman taught my brother and me to fly by shouting "NO!"...
I dream I have sixth and seventh senses--and wake to realize I do! Just denied them, explained them away...
CAUTION: SHAKESPEAREAN HEFT
DREAM: Millions of birds were at war, tearing one another apart. It was out of control, thousands and thousands...
DAY: Pinochet's coup took Chile. Alerted by the dream, Painemal went into hiding and lived--unlike thousands...
CAUTION: EXTRAPOLATIVE OR PSYCHIC?
Colorful birds swirl round me. They may be natives of Paradise--may be, in fact, avian angels...
George Bush leads a hill-tribe raid against the hill-tribe led by Osama bin Laden... and I'm stuck between...
CAUTION: ANTI-HEROES, POLITICAL PREDICTION
I try to fly in my birdsuit before I have feathers! Can I? Starring the cast of Three's Company...
CAUTION: LAME SEXUAL INNUENDO TYPICAL OF THREE'S COMPANY
How a centaur tames birds in the Sierra Nevada...
I swim the flooded tunnels and pass the crocodiles to enter the house of mystics... but now what?
Someone is giving birth, and we're panicky. Fortunately, the Postal Service has
issued stamps with helpful advice like "Stay Calm" and "Boil Water"...
First, in a maze, I meet a huge bison with her calf; then, in a school gym,
I meet an even bigger alien, twiggy, spindle-shaped, mysterious...
We unearthed a sacred treasure, but now a mob of believers are out to lynch us! I better fly...
CAUTION: SACRILEGE AND BAD PUNS
Why's Jade the bitter artist throw me at her happier, calmer daughter? Wait, is Jamie the new ME?
CAUTION: SEX
I finally admit who I am, and the truth is bitter...
CAUTION: GENDER DYSPHORIA, MENTION OF COPROPHAGY, POSSIBLE SITCOM SPOILER
A young Tibetan boy approached me with his arms full of the shapes I had been working on for
the past week. To my delight I found the material, textures and colors I had been searching for...
I dream of a black & white TV show of a woman in a dance leotard. I whack the antenna and she pops into color.
Awake, I turn on the TV. Black & white image of TWO women in leotards. Whack the antenna. ONE pops into...
DREAM: I see photos of smiling couples at the beach, but someone's scribbled on them: just black blots for eyes. Creepy.
DAY: Read a fantasy novel in which a prince has a cursed double, identical except: he has black blots for eyes. Creepier...
At 17, Xiao Dao dreamt he rode a black dragon as the sun set. A dream interpreter said sunset
meant the end of the Liao Song dynasty, and that Xiao Dao would rise to found the next dynasty...
My sister & I try to sing an original, but every note summons old jazz greats, leaving us
no musical elbow room! So I quack like a duck. Nope! Giant ducks appear, and say...
CAUTION: RACIAL ANXIETY? GIANT DUCKS!
My crazy friend Wayne goes bowling for busses with a black egg. Wait! Crazy? Or... predictive?
CAUTION: GEORGIA O'KEEFFE BEHAVES DISGRACEFULLY
A dream-voyage round the world on the Black Current, only to wake up back in my animal village...
CAUTION: GORILLA MARRIAGE
Chapter 8 of UNICORN TAG, though it can stand alone.
A packet of magic soupmix sends me upstairs to a secret wizards' lab.
They've summoned a demon they can't handle: the furious Black Unicorn...
My friend F. saw a child whose every move was controlled by a weird figure behind her...
It had been a weirdly mild winter day, but in my dream black storms loomed as I tried to build shelter...
I looked into a narrow stream that was quite clear yet inky black. It made no sense at the time...
After days sick, I open myself to unseen spirits and let a black wavefront
go through me--and the healing begins. But what did I let in?
CAUTION: MYSTICISM & FETISHISM DON'T MIX
I dreamed a large meteor had struck the Earth. I found my Dad just as the shockwave hit...
CAUTION: APOCALYPSE
At first I was afraid of the blackbird, who asked me to come away with him--I wasn't ready to die--
but now I see him as a friend and guide. One day when I'm ready, we'll fly--and I won't be back.
Inspired by Lynda Barry, I fill a black-paged book with 20 improv paintings.
They grow into a tour of my dreamwork led my anima Silky, a nightmare...
Humanity's trapped in a Quad, overseen by the Guardians of Blackslime Tower.
Feather by feather, I grow wings, and plot to escape with the Flying Cat...
CAUTION: THE SLIME IS REAGANOMICS
I dream a sexy softball pitcher strikes everyone out. Next day, my friend brings her home, and...
CAUTION: LESBIAN DATING
I'm a Fast-Food Detective tracking down a kidnapper-sorceress.
I find castles, monsters, magic carpets... and unexpected love.
CAUTION: SEX
by Wayan; 2002/5/29 - 2004/5/11, a diagnostic, predictive dream-series; Bleeding Heart as comix
A tree-girl moves to Hollywood to make film deals, but jealousy stabs her...
CAUTION: BLOODY ASSAULT, GAY DRYADS, MUTANT NUDITY
I was Eve's guardian angel the second time round, and I blew it again. But this time, it came out right....
CAUTION: BREASTS AND BEASTS
While we’re at work, Blind Ancestors come smash up our homes...
and we all see zombie vandal relatives as normal...
A sexy pool-playing friend in a short skirt leans over an
invisible, virtual-reality pooltable, but I'm blind to...
CAUTION: EXHIBITIONISM, TRULY CLUELESS GUY
A bubble of spacetime distortion lands in an awkward place,
making people mistrust the unlucky recipient...
I DREAM I'm helping my mom make a bed, but the light keeps going out. Each time, her hair changes color!
NEXT DAY I tell my dream to a co-worker. He says it means a romantic dilemma I fear to look at. He's right...
Quiet Blondie seemed sane enough, especially compared to
her driven, talkative friend Crazy, until...
CAUTION: NUDITY, A LITTLE BLOOD
A Gypsy man invites me to dance. But he cuts my arm, deep; then even his touch multiplies
my wounds. Last is a needle through my wrist. But I'm committed to the full dance now...
CAUTION: BLOOD; CURIOUSLY, NOT PAIN
I say Christ’s “blood” is a metaphor for “spiritual perfection.” My mom says "You're killing me; please repent"...
Some men get squeamish about menstrual blood, but this girl's plight was extreme...
CAUTION: EWWWW!
A man obsessed with blood and death disturbs me, but I have to admit I share his interests...
Next the blood comes home; a surgeon wants to flay my tongue...
Next, witch-children rebel against a bloody flossing ritual and fly away on broomsticks...
What I saw in the river bordering the land of the dead...
CAUTION: GORE, BUT RESTRAINED, TASTEFUL GORE
Would the Revolutionaries in the Basement really blow up the Committee of Idealists upstairs?
CAUTION: MAD BOMBERS! WELL, GRUMPY ONES
I'm a shy wild cat locked in a zoo paddock with elephants and lions
till I remember how to fly! But just levitate, blown about by the wind?
Or can I steer my own course?...
Our brains are really squid stuffed in a skulljar. I wake, see the image on TV. "So it's predictive!" I think.
Then I wake to find that too was a dream. "Not predictive!" I think. Until my friend turns on the TV, and...
Throw a dream-crystal, or dangle it by a thread, and it'll point the way to go...
CAUTION: NUDITY
The supreme mystery which we learn after death is that the cosmos with all its galaxies is a blue drop...
CAUTION: HIPPIE DIPPIE
I met a great blue eagle waiting to get into a library--but not to hunt books...
This was my first sculpture. I was around four. The rest of the preschool class made bunnies and snowmen.
But I'd been peeking at Isamu Noguchi and Henry Moore in my mom's art books, so...
In a world where respectable men wear masks, an old, old man rebels in the crudest way he can...
Seems strange to have no hands. How do dolphins get things done? By not needing to get things done?
CAUTION: MILD NUDITY
I'm a wizard chasing crooked politicians in a big city. They have a car, I hop a trolley--
only on the astral plane it's a giant blue millipede, and...
CAUTION: RECKLESS DRIVING, THEFT OF PUBLIC MILLIPEDE
A startling deep-blue rabbit with scarlet eyes and red veined ears, floating in colorless air...
I'd been reading Watership Down, the chapter on the Black Rabbit of Inlé...
CAUTION: ART THEORY CRUSHES BUNNY
I dreamed of a bear playing a cello concert.
The next day at a concert I was surprised to see that the cellist...
A visit to a world where they fear blue soup ends in death and resurrection, so I'm pissed at my boss--God.
CAUTION: DEATH, REBIRTH, SACRILEGE... JOB BURNOUT
I'm in bed with a witch and a piano who's come alive and wants to try sex with us. But I worry a stranger named
Linda will break in. I wake, write the dream--and a stranger breaks into our house seeking her son! Her name's...
CAUTION: BIZARRE THREESOME, BIZARRE PRECOGNITION
DREAM: I'm in a restaurant offering just one dish: wild boar, for $12. Excessive. I say no.
NEXT DAY: I tackle a book review I must write. The book costs $12. Excessive. Oh! It's a...
My therapist changes into a good ol' boy? I can handle that. But that State Board of Kibitzers behind him...
Mrs Griffiths has the same nightmare three times before she asks her nephew to skip a fishing trip...
I swim far out in a lake to a business meeting on a dinghy; but that's trivial.
What matters is mapping the murky lakebottom, dive after dive...
I'm trying to bathe, but there are Boat People in the tub!
And my inner Grandma's spying on me, behind her fan...
Traders were vanishing. Newly installed Viceroy Zhu fasted, focused, and dreamt
the gods sent him a riddling poem. Each line suggested one word--together, they...
CAUTION: BRUTAL ORGANIZED CRIME
Were the rowdy face-boats really ghosts haunting this old house, harbingers of my future online... or both?
I dreamt Bob was a tree-god enthroned in ivy. I said...
Scuba diving, we find Atlantis. Beautiful Greek statues. But some kid painted a baseball in
Aphrodite's hand. And the bobcat diving with us has been holding its breath for an hour...
Awkward newlyweds. Not a love match! Can they co-operate to save a woman from the Nazis?...
Hawk Girl and Pearl Dragon sing a love-duet on the joy of allergies...
If artists do this with ink, what makes you think genetic engineers will do any better with flesh?...
CAUTION: DON'T DO THIS AT HOME
Spies kidnap a girl and move her soul into a madwoman's body.
Can she survive? Recover? Thrive? The TV dance show helps...
I found a honeymoon cottage by the sea, and the old landlady gave me a very reasonable rate. Everything was fine...
DAY: I'm preparing a report on our industry; but the numbers seem a bit odd.
DREAM: Someone points out a big inventory generated no sales or income.
NEXT DAY: Awake, I hunt for evidence the inventory's real. And find...
I seek a stolen magic necklace, but end up dating the thief, an elf-queen with STRANGE taste in cookery...
CAUTION: BAD SOUP
Giving up a circle of friends is like the collapse of a sun--do you dry up like a raisin... or explode?
I dream the universe runs on Bollywood rules. I can stand the constant singing
and breakdancing; what gets under my skin is that Bollywood Code...
I'm James Bond. Captured and questioned, I lie to the enemy: the senators of the
Committee on Intelligence Activities. Till I see myself through their eyes...
CAUTION: SPY SEX, SPY MENTALITY
Soul-Poodle is torn between Le Bone Dieu and Dancing Pussy. Who will our horny dogma chase?
CAUTION: MUTT SMUT
The top of my skull pops off, exposing my vulnerable brain. But I replace it. Later, I crush a spider...
At the beach, a deaf boy with a strong aura asks "Are you here for the coin?"
He buries horse skeletons in the sand; the bones are carved with symbols...
I know I'm a murderer; what isn't so clear is what I killed and why...
CAUTION: DISMEMBERMENT, GUILT, DREAD
All day I've had a stupid song from 1948 in my head--"Bongo Bongo Bongo." Then I buy Metzger's Dogs.
Start reading. Page 16: "Gordon started singing "Bongo Bongo Bongo, I Don't Want to Leave the Congo"...
The world's first all-bulemic band, Veronica and the Vomits, provokes a riot at our local punk club. So I go to
Anorexic Bootcamp where models learn self-defense under fire, as calories and fat jokes whiz by...
CAUTION: BARF, HORNY ANOREXIC, FOOD FIGHT
The gods of our cave-past and star-future fight over us--using us, of course. After I see the toll it's taking on a
bonobo buddy of mine, I decide to bring the war back home, and go gunning for God--BOTH of them...
CAUTION: APES AND EXPLOSIVES DON'T MIX
Tax-funded child prostitution ends war--sex calms men down from
mean chimps to nice bonobos. Rough on street kids, though...
CAUTION: SEXPLOITATION, SATIRE HARSH AS JONATHAN SWIFT. UNICORNS, TOO!
I look down on scrawny centaurs with cropped manes & tails: butch minimalism. Unsexy! Then I'm
down among them. Now they have big eyes, luxuriant manes and tails: femme excess. I find this sexy...
CAUTION: CENTAUR NUDITY
The crystalline figure on the cover of the book in my dream seemed to hold as many answers as its title...
A woman urged her friend to give her daughter a musical education. Without hearing this, the child went hunting for...
I was in the Stanford Bookstore and saw this strange visual pun across the room... or did I?
CAUTION: MILD NUDITY
My evil twin, Boris Badenov, wants $8000 or else. I ask my dreams for a solution, and get one...
I keep dreaming of awkward but successful transitions into new life, and paint them all in one landscape...
This picture does not actually contain any authentic boston beans, just Hieronymus Boschton b...
Flu. Ow, cramps! But that night I dream of a miner's rebellion against our fat-cat boss. Which side am I on?
J.H. dreamt both his mother and Queen Mary appeared in mourning. Within days, both were dying...
Reaching into her coat pockets, my sister pulls out fistfuls of bottlecaps.
Silly dream! Then my sister visits. Reaching into her coat pockets...
I was trapped inside a boulder, but as I chanted it melted around me until it resembled a discarded skin...
So exactly how is posting all these dreams different from crawling naked inside your screen?.
CAUTION: NUDITY
A sequence of short dreams full of creatures. They warn I'll face leukemia...
I dream I've decided to jog to Alaska. But that Arctic wind slows me, and then a traffic-snarl boxes me in...
Awake, I bike to work. Distracted by the dream, I leave my coat. An Arctic blast slows me, and then a...
In drawing class I was supposed to be studying perspective, but I went beyond the box...
A recurring childhood dream on how weird a boy-body is when you've been a girl too many lifetimes.
CAUTION: PUBLIC HUMILIATION, NUDE MONSTERS, SILLY GENITALIA
I was at school, walking through the gate to the playing fields, when a boy crashed into me...
I dreamed my toddler son followed two Boy Scouts down to the creek, and drowned. That morning, on my curb, two...
Boys still get portrayed as businesslike in sex, girl as floating orgasmic jellyfish. Time for a sex change...
CAUTION: SEX AND LIMP RUBBER ARMS
A girl in my dance class stretched like making love to the air. But when I drew her, a black wolf...
CAUTION: WEREWOLF SEX
When girls get their clits cut, even the UN takes notice. But mutilate boy genitals, and... big yawn!
CAUTION: TALK ABOUT SEX AND VIOLENCE--BUT HEY, IT'S ONLY BOYS
DREAM 1: My date Lana changes to my housemate Alder to my dead friend Beryl, who talks of pastlife trauma...
DREAM 2: Sexy deer-girls and ice dancers get me and my sister hot, but a ghost disrupts impending incest...
TWO DAYS LATER: I see Boys Don't Cry--settings, situations, characters & even names from my dream!
CAUTION: DEER BREASTS, NEAR-INCEST, FILM ON TRANNYCIDE
Women who run with the wolves? Ha! In Mongolia, the only ones who can beat lightning-demons are...
Bradbury's Mars was based on his life in Venice, California. What worlds grow out of my San Francisco?
We're slaves on the moon. But we're slowly stretching our freedom in the shadows, undoing the Braid of...
I was at a dream conference and brought up a recurrent theme
that others hadn't mentioned: multiple antlerlike branchings...
After I saw the film "Surviving Picasso" (he's brilliant but treats women like dirt)
I dream a sexy friend asks me to remove a strange curse. But can I?...
Stalin's police held my fiancée incommunicado. But I dreamt of her prison, cellmate, and the odd game they played...
Mobilization, war, troop transport, slogans, marching bands and orgies, all in an apotheosis of dough...
CAUTION: ENDS IN SEX
My friend stuffs a broken feeder with birdseed. I worry it'll attract too many wild birds. He laughs "Exactly!"...
I search for family skeletons, but then a talking plant on TV inspires me to seek the sun and fly free.
But certain velociraptors and barbarian swordswomen object...
CAUTION: DUELS, FISH ABUSE, THE F-WORD
A thief was breaking in. I tried to flee, but my dad got in the way. Woke up, went out to my car, and found...
A sexy encounter with two robotic girls hopping a night train outside Portland...
CAUTION: THREESOME
Hurry to the station to catch the train--or is it a sky tram? a ship? a hill? an island?
Climb its flank, but fissures open--it breaks up. I'm adrift. Next day, on TV...
A bride flies as a ghost, invisible, inaudible, sealed in a crystal shell; a guide
shows her what'll happen if she can't shatter her armor and show her love...
I'm bad. I'm really bad. I know I shouldn't have done it. But my mail-order breasts were late...
CAUTION: BREAST THEFT
I'm a reporter interviewing survivors of a plane crash--a puma and a pit bull. Can I survive the survivors?
Touring Bretagne, I lodged in a nunnery. At 1 AM I saw by moonlight an old woman at my table.
I later learned that old woman died at 1 AM that night; for many years, my room had been hers...
I meet a sexy seal-girl. Being single and desperate, I overlook a slight values conflict...
CAUTION: DISGUSTING JOB
I'm analog myself, but in Tibet, I meet a digital shaman whose body's a sort of ...
The Hunt of the Unicorn (yeah, guess who I am), as I fly through the worlds fighting Reaganism...
CAUTION: MOCKS THE GREAT COMMUNICATOR
I found myself in childhood again, in a village where my dad was building a bridge. A man in a guard's
uniform introduced himself as C--. Awake I could recall no such person, but research revealed...
The moon invites me to go flying, but I get tired of magic and just want to go shopping...
Dreams warning of mania and paralyzing shame alternate with calm dreams of life and growth...
I'm a middle-aged British writer in a triad with a sculptor and a dairy farmer
who seem happy sharing me. But it's a small town, so we must be discreet...
CAUTION: TRIAD THAT WORKS
We all wear magic beltbuckles. Twist one--your body stretches from squat to willowy. Except mine...
CAUTION: SEX, BODY-IMAGE DISTORTION
A long terrible shiver, and my whole body broke like glass. I may live months, but in that dream I died...
Helping out talking animals until I'm exhausted, I suffer a fatal accident. What am I being warned of?
Swedenborg fights a worldly acquaintance, then his dog, who turns into a serpent...
CAUTION: FIGHTING, SCORNS MATERIALISM
I kept dreaming of a boy in striped pajamas. I had to save him every night.
Until one night I failed. I just couldn't. I knew who he was--my brother who...
CAUTION: DEATH
A champion swimmer tells me how she turned a sexual humiliation into excitement and liberating power...
CAUTION: NUDITY, SEX, SHAME, PSYCHOLOGICAL COMPLEXITY
At last my girlfriend and I manage to peel off the Brown Dress of Shame, and ...
CAUTION: SEXUAL HEALING
Biking, I stray into the steamy Brundibar Sea. My bike dissolves!
But hot-tubbers explain the Sea manifests what you visualize. Yay! Uh-oh...
CAUTION: MYSTICISM AND HOLOCAUST HISTORY
Bruno flew through space--not crystal spheres, not Heaven, not even the Copernican solar system, but
interstellar space. He saw the stars were suns, those suns had planets, and those planets bore life...
CAUTION: BURNED ALIVE BY THE INQUISITION
I'm road-racing. I go over the edge of a slope. But brush slows the car just enough to save me...
Next day, on TV: Rockford's shoved in a car into a canyon. But brush slows the car just enough to...
An dreams a scary woman pulls his guts out and fills him up with brush! He wakes, gets gutted in a feud, and then...
CAUTION: BLOODY VIKINGS!
A weird urge insists "Do laundry NOW!" I go. My housemate Liz is there! I open a machine and find
the buckles for the overalls I lent Liz for a Halloween costume. She swears "I looked everywhere..."
CAUTION: FLAMES E.S.P. DENIERS
I meet William F. Buckley and his beloved pet pig. Only
the hog's a live H-Bomb, and the leash is a trigger...
CAUTION: REVOLTING GUY, PET, AND ISSUE
Gosh, I'm speechless. How Zen! Market me at once!
CAUTION: MOCKS RELIGION. OR ADVERTISING. ONE OF THOSE.
I'm gigantic, stretching from Ceylon to Tibet. Grass grows from my navel to heaven.
Worms crawl on me. Birds flock to me and change color. I climb a mountain of dung...
CAUTION: PIOUS MISINTERPRETATIONS
I was led into the future, where all the buffalo disappeared, to meet a frail old man by a ranch house...
I'm Bugs Bunny. I torment Daffy Duck till I learn that in many time-branches the New
Deal happened late... or never. I decide to prod a reluctant Franklin Delano Roosevelt...
CAUTION: FIRESIDE PETTING, DUCK TORTURE, BAD POLITICS
I met a god. Unmistakably a god. The Builder, hard at work--making Utopia, by hand.
I dream I'm at a center for bull fighting, teaching the structure of the brain, but
they believe the brain is a structureless gelatin and the soul is all...
Cleo the talking kitten denies being a cat, so I invent Wolf-N-Puma Chow!
Must I play similar games to nourish that other feral critter... me?
Princess Chinchilla and I use an umbrella to escape the Wizard. Now to escape the Dream Researchers!...
A fantasy bazaar full of wolf, cat and rabbit shoppers. But my human friend Mark has a booth
by the exit, and grabs a rabbit girl's tail! She glares daggers, but seems resigned to harassment...
CAUTION: SEXISM OR SPECISM?
Reporters interview my pet rabbit without my permission. Have I neglected her? She says
"Things have been pretty good." I'm relieved, but ask why she never spoke before...
A perfectionist gardener builds perfect planterboxes while his seedlings starve. And so I left the burbs...
If you dream, don't drive. If you drive, don't dream. A public safety message from the other world.
I was at the beach with my friends. It was fun. But gradually they were
laughing at me, not with me. Then they picked up burning sticks...
CAUTION: GRUESOME
Fighting an absolutist theocracy, my dragon-soul burns the
church's dragon-nursery. The cost is terrible: a black vortex...
CAUTION: ROMANTIC THREESOME GETS BURNED
Malevolent artwork terrorizes my baby and me! What's to be done?...
My home was burning; I despaired. All my negatives would be lost. But
some figures arose from their photos and walked out of the fire...
By twisting strangely, humans can slip into a higher plane. Ten feet higher!
So unless you climb on the roof, you end up in the tunnels of the burrowcats...
A certain intensity marks some dreams as predictive, whether they foresee a death or a crisis averted;
but I keep quiet about them, writing them only in a locked diary. Once I spoke up, and was shunned...
CAUTION: DISTURBING ANALOGY WITH SEX-ORIENTATION CLOSET
I dreamed this was in our civic museum: a painting of the central
dynamo of our world finally erupting: the Businessman in Anguish.
Businessmen grow snouts or short trunks and their necks stretch.
They drive VW Beetles with the sunroof open. Works in summer, but...
Our gods demand sacrifices. I let Mother mutilate me so I'd be unfit. But the priests turn out to be blind...
CAUTION: YOU CAN FEEL PAIN IN DREAMS
My job's to clarify people's deepest wishes. But when I meet two women who truly want to die...
CAUTION: SUICIDAL IMPULSES
I'd just gone off to college. I dream I'm back in my quarrelsome family's house--
as they start World War Three in the back yard! But our cat...
A woman who posed as a Starfleet officer discovers other frauds on board. She blows the whistle on them...
In a world with a dozen intelligent species, dominated by dinosaurs,
I get in trouble for publishing a kinky tale of forbidden mammal love...
After seeing Picasso's massive cubist women running on a beach, I found myself drawing
a lighter version--except she (I) waved this bitter banner. But then I was ill at the time...
He saw a vehicle coming toward him at great speed. The light was so bright it blinded him. He screamed...
I dreamed I was a butterfly, fluttering about, content with my lot. Suddenly I awoke and was Chuang-tzu again...
'You always hurt the one you love', but this girl seems unaware she's proving it's true for ecology too...
I help run the Dream Hotel, a giant mushroom with grand forest views.
It's the off season; our only guest is this lovely butterfly-wolf girl...
CAUTION: NUDE WOLF
A glowing sentient autistic button falls in love with a small boy; then I try
to make two friends change orientation and fall in love by singing 'Molly Malone'...
CAUTION: JUST... WRONG
My friends destroy all my old films and give me a 'new' one--but it's from 1900! Then I wake to find...
An epic dream on the lifelong effects of unrequited love, compressed into seven stanzas...