I'm searching all over a hilly campus for a blonde woman I know, called Dana-Ann. Everyone keeps telling me they just saw her somewhere else. After hours of frustrating, exhausting search, up and down endless stairs, I give up and leave.

Above the campus, on the hilltop, I run into my friend Lily. She says "I'm ready for love again" and leers at me! Uh-oh, is she coming on to me again? I'm not attracted to her at all! But she just asks me to list all the single men I know. I say "okay," though it'll be pretty short--I mostly know women, and a few men through them. I'm just relieved she's not after me any more.

We're in a sort of roofless room or shed. Sunny. Hey--there's Dana-Ann in the corner! At LAST! But she's busy--on the phone.

Well, not exactly the phone: it's a virtual reality setup, hooked to a modem. Goggles and earphones. From her motions, it's obvious she's playing virtual pool, over the phone! She bends over the invisible table and shoots a made-up ball with a mythical cue. She ignores me--can she even see me? When she shoots, her short pleated skirt swings in... it's so short there's a flash of pink, naked lips--she's naked underneath! I keep glancing away and then back at her, embarrassed, excited, and afraid Lily will notice me looking up Dana's dress...

She bends over again, practically in my face... God! She has to know what's she's doing--flashing me.

And I resent it. Feel frustrated. She won't talk to me, ignores me, while she does this! It feels mean--"Nya nya nyaaaah!" I feel let down--I found her at last, but she both ignores me AND teases me. One or the other would be bad enough.

I walk out thinking "Lily's plain, and socially clumsy, and kind of bossy, but at least she's seeking a lover her own age and with findable qualities. I seem to need NOT ONLY someone young and gifted and attractive, but also very gentle--no sexual game-playing. I didn't know teasing would hurt me so."

Even as I walk away, I feel some doubt--even her cold, impersonal flash of cunt got me hot. She's so sexy, and I'm so hungry!

But I walk on.

WHEN I WOKE

• Dana-Ann, short pleated skirt = yesterday I saw the movie "Fly Away Home". Dana Delany and Anna Paquin both wore short skirts.
• Flashing me meant REJECTION? How could I misread signals so badly? What's she gotta do, rape me? What a warning. Even blatant flirtation, I read as its opposite. I'm not surprised, after my childhood, but I hoped I'd healed more than THIS!
• Feel bad, but see progress = six months ago, in the dream Cambodian Girl, she flashed me, too--but she felt scared and confused about sex and asked what WAS proper flirtation in America. Then, I set aside my own feelings and helped answer HER doubts. She was the abused side of me, no question about it. Now, this inner abused girl has grown up. Yet I'm still misinterpreting sexual signals! I think the dream's warning the problem is now my conscious perceptions or my habitual attitude, not Dana-Ann, my inner... flirt?
• Now I wonder if the dream's pool-table and cues and balls really WERE invisible. Maybe everyone saw them but me! Maybe I'm just... blind to the cues.

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