Ariana's a brilliant young writer, but how she plans to escape her family is alarming...
CAUTION: TEEN PREGNANCY, SKIN MAGS, HORRIBLE CAREER PLANNING
An artificial intelligence acquires fans and has orgies with her groupies. Her creators
don't care as long as the advertisers get product placement. But she has this size fetish...
CAUTION: VIBRATORS
I realize the artichoke plate in my lap is a pun: ART! I CHOKE! I need to peel
off my thorny outer leaves of professionalism to find the heart inside...
Parasites, Rambo, huge fetus-beets, an exhibitionist and a living statue advise me on my love life...
CAUTION: NUDITY
My kidnappers were desperate: no jobs. I fled them down the berry chute, to the underground
strawberry factory where engineers in go-go boots did the berry dance--and the berries...
CAUTION: STRAWBERRY FETISH
A perfectionist gardener builds perfect planterboxes while his seedlings starve. And so I left the burbs...
Bodies are laid out upstairs in a dirt bed. Potatoes will sprout.
The plants won't feed on the bodies, but they will support the vines...
In endangered woods I meet deer with bold black-and white feather crests.
Higher up, it's barren--a hard winter. But I taste a medicinal blue-black fruit...
That broccoli business made the new pope controversial, but when he goes off to find his girlfriend...
CAUTION: CATHOLIC SACRILEGE I'M SURE
How I cursed Isabella the sofa sorceress, cursed her with a blueberry. And why that stinks...
CAUTION: UNDER THE MAGIC, IDEAS
I cross a hostile continent to a magic commune, fall in love with a flying girl who slaps a
soul-spark into my head, and follow an alien goddess leading the Dance of the Sun...
Troutmet the moon-pigeon, Burtra the blackbird, a talking acacia,
my dead father and my dead gardener all give me afterlife-advice...
I'm a reporter. In the mall, I get my pocket picked repeatedly--
but the thieves keep slipping mysterious stuff in, not out...
CAUTION: PUN
The dinosaurs I meet manage to prove BOTH leading
time-travel theories! Yet they're incompatible...
I ride my tricycle all round Sydney trying to get bureaucratic approval
to feed bananas to my friend the grizzly bear, gooey though he gets...
by Gala Dalí 1943? painted by Salvador Dalí 1944; a supposedly instantaneous dream.
Dalí's wife Gala naps, but a bee wakes her--and her dream instantly magnifies
bee into tigers! After all, both have fur, sharp bits, black & gold stripes...
CAUTION: BREASTS; BAD DREAM THEORIES.
While we're making crop-circles in the field of psychotherapy, my hypnotist and I start to argue...
I was floating in the Ether, not far from this world, which seemed small as an apple.
An angel took it in his hand and brought it to me and said, 'This must thou eat'...
In a museum, I absent-mindedly eat crumbly bricks I think are pastry; they really are rare soil-samples...
Three days later, I see a TV show I thought was on children. Wrong; it's on soil samples--that turn into eatables...
I meet a man who's lived centuries on an all-cannibal diet. He has ethics, though: he sticks to roadkill! Except...
CAUTION: EEEUUGH!
A pod of whales in the sky and a circle of children dressed like seed-pods both beg me to interpret them...
I'm an alien castaway, hiding my wings. But Earth feels like home now! If I could fly here, would I stay?
Books are clothes, and always were. A potato makes me lie, and everyone gets it but me.
Sex in a crowd disarms the Mom Squad! And a Mystic Autistic's soul explores my room...
CAUTION: PUBLIC SEX? PROBABLY.
A woman discovers that her new use for a truck with a telescoping arm has philosophical consequences...
In the Garden of the Gods, I sit through sun and rain. For gods aren't the gardeners, they're the crop...
From Hawaii to Wyoming, I fight for beauty, always waking to find I'm someone new...
I'm watching MTV. Laurie Anderson gets inside my remote control. I try to change channels
and she turns my head into an apple. I grope for a potato peeler, and carve a new mouth...
I'm in an America where witches are burned & abused women grow on trees. Yet three of us heal...
CAUTION: CREEPY PARALLEL WORLD
A dream-fable of lemons who are really orange-people infected by a spore turns out to be about me...
I wake up as someone else. I go through her working day, till Captain Kirk comes to take me to...
I'm flying backward over Utah. In the brush on a canyon rim I spot a head of red
lettuce big as a man growing as camouflage from a revolutionary warrior's head...
CAUTION: APPARENT E.S.P.
Half asleep, I scrawl a nightmare of trying to rescue gasping boyfish, but my dreamwriting goes wrong too...
The Lord Chancelor can't sleep, and when at last he does, he drifts through nightmares full of baby lawyers
and potted tradesmen sprouting fruit, and cutthroat corporate scheming. But that's Victorian dreaming!
I've got too many obligations, an elderly relative to care for, and now giant birds are invading my house.
CAUTION: STALKING, KILLER BIRDS
My friend Mark and I climb the Path of Righteousness to the summit where he finds a big red watermelon.
He rolls it down the Path of Righteousness, knocking businessmen aside like bowling pins! Why? Well...
A new Eve asks the Time Commission to send her and her baby back to Ethiopia
45,000 years ago. But they're shy Moomintrolls, not humans...
After eating iffy food, I had gut pains all night--but I dreamed of rebels with swords
fighting a fascist empire. Were my dreams siding with the food? Well, no...
My friend Carol and I are carrots. We crawl out of our vegetable bed
through the kitchen window, and end up happily hot-tubbing in soup...
I swim with my daughter Naomi in a desert pool amid lemon trees. She may be able to help me...
I am given a gift of "Nibbling Fruits" which only I may eat--because I've been feeding everyone but me...
Down at the tideline, a man dressed in seaweed disproves John Donne's adage...
My day life as an artist and explorer of the San Francisco underground scene
gets regularly commented on by my dreamlife...
CAUTION: SEX, BONDAGE
A coy, giggling giant orange bounces onto a man's bed, trying to seduce him, and...
PEACHES: after painting a peach all day, I find I AM one, reclining on a mound of cottage cheese...
CHERRIES: after a day in Reno, I find I'm a wheel in a slot machine, whirling, coming up cherries...
After weeks of headaches I dream of a fatal, mosquito-borne plague.
Humanity looks doomed till my friends devise a folk remedy...
Plums float through the autumn air, sending us airmail kisses. If we'll accept delivery...
EMRICH: I'm in a conference center in "Pondecherry", even though it feels nothing like India...
THOMAS: A woman picks fruit off a tree by a pond and calls them "pondicherries--with an 'i'"...
CAUTION: WILL ANNOY E.S.P. DENIERS
I dream of a half-pony half-human girl who can't eat either hamburgers or hay. She figures out an appropriate diet...
I'm dating a sexy salad. But I just gobble the good bits and leave: I have an appointment in Chinatown.
The salad understandably feels let down, but she's painfully familiar with guys who eat and run...
CAUTION: WEIRD EVEN BY MY STANDARDS
Silla Kristos angered Saint Walatta Petros, so she cursed him. He got sick and died. She knew she'd overdone it,
and asked the Virgin Mary to revive him. Mary grumbled, but did. While dead, Silla Kristos got wise angelic advice...
CAUTION: BRATTY SAINT, BRATTY MONK
Things start materializing in my house: first three tiny naked scientists, then a huge impossible fruit...
CAUTION: NUDE SCIENTISTS
In a desert, I find a tree with red purselike pods. But they all seem empty,
and I know they should each contain a vivid yellow snake...
I'm in a department store trying on clothes when I notice there's a large zucchini growing from my crotch...
CAUTION: SQUASHY PENIS, ICKY RECIPE
Not a dream--one night I just found myself painting Potatohenge. For two weeks I fussed..
I meet a woman on an oxcart who's sure we all want to poison her--
but in a way her affliction's made her forgiving, even noble...
CAUTION: MADNESS
Three friends in a garden pledge loyalty forever with a toast of the wine of the heart...
High up a scaffold, I was beating the chaff off a huge seed, unable to stop. I was beating my own heart...
Three dreams set on Abenaki holy ground, of weird shamans--one ashen, one pumpkin-headed, the
third goofy-faced--lead me to visit the site. Where I find the river's washed up that third shaman's face...
CAUTION: WILL BOTHER E.S.P. SKEPTICS
I'm a rabbit girl living in New Orleans. Humid summer. My roses all died;
a rot that needs to be disinfected. So I light a torch and burn them back...
CAUTION: HARSH POLITICAL INTERPRETATION
I find myself on the bridge of a starship. But the décor is Arabian Nights--and half the crew are unicorns,
grazing built-in flowerbeds. Some humans on board treat them as mere pets. But one's piloting the ship...
CAUTION: PREDICTIVE
Unshade trees are ugly. But my friends list their uses: casting shadows lighter than
sunlight, keeping land clear of other trees, and the fruit. Fruit? WHAT fruit? Am I blind?
In our cult, we lie in vats of goo till we grow wings. But we’re feared more than we knew...
CAUTION: SPECIST LYNCH MOB, NUDE IN SCHOOL, LESBIAN FEELINGS, OBSCENE CARROT
Make silhouettes of your beloved vegetables; then listen to the spaces between...
CAUTION: LEWD SQUASH
After a visit from our landlady's angry, crazy son
I dream hungry velociraptors invade our house...
An invisible monster is eating my lettuce patch.
It casts a huge blurry shadow, leaves footprints, but...
I'm a cowgirl in Nevada circa 1900. In the canyon below Haunted Mansion,
I meet a broccoli-green lizard girl. Naturally I help a lady in distress...
CAUTION: QUEER-POSITIVE
I'm a part-owner of Eden, harvesting windfalls.
But a renter says his Landlord promised him all the apples...
After teaching a class on color, I had a series of vivid dreams
about color, and tried fusing them into one painting...
I find the truth about my childhood. My parents lied! I hide for days, then dub myself Zucchini Girl
and go onstage, humping squash, calling it performance art! So do my friends see a problem? Hmm...
CAUTION: EXHIBITIONISM