Are the hunters still on my trail? I hike up slopes clad in deep pinewoods--wooded for now, but maybe not for long; I cross a muddy logging road. Wilderness threatened--like me.

Reach a creek. As I drink, a family of dappled brown deer come down a steep bank to drink too. Strange--they're crested like woodpeckers or jays, with black and white feathers. Wary of me--til they see I eat plants, like them. I wasn't even thinking, just found a spiral leaf I unconsciously knew was edible--waterleaf, I think--and chewed one.

The deer-jays calm me down. Hike higher in the hills. Colder. Barren; leafless brush, the bare twigs brittle dry & black, as if it all just thawed after a hard winter.

On the ground I spot a purple-black oval pod, 2 cm long, 1 wide. Again, quite by instinct, I pick it up and eat it. That distinctive sour-bitter-astringent taste tells me it's a medicinal plant, a strong tonic my body likes. I think it's called Oregongrape. Wait, there's a more common name, related to the Latin name, but I can't recall either one. Nags me. And how the hell did it get here, in this dead zone?

Only now do I notice an apparently dead bush--skeletal. But with a few more dark, sour, bitter ovals. Soon as the killing frosts are over, these roots and seeds are ready for rebirth.

NOTES IN THE MORNING

• Hunted: Right-wing gun nuts or the Covid virus?
• Crested jay-deer: I dunno. Whoever they are, I liked them. And wanted to sketch them.
• Killing winter, seeds of spring: the Covid pandemic, ebbing at last?
• Taste the berry: many researchers claim dreams lack taste and smell. Their loss!
• Dark, sour, bitter, astringent: emotions? After Covid's hard winter, as I (we) come back to life, don't expect sweetness and light.
• Oregongrape's other name: not a dream delusion. Hours later, I finally recall it: barberry, from Latin berberis. It is medicinal; close relatives are used in many cultures.
• ACTION: follow my tastes, trust myself. I evaded the hunters, befriended magical deer, and found a dark medicinal fruit. Take in the darkness.

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