I'm kissed by the Holy Aardvark, but my bond with my dad is strained by ESP he can't accept...
A chronological orgy of my self-images from childhood on: horses, geeks, girls, satyrs, boys, monsters...
CAUTION: CARTOON SEX
Fifty years after I drove him away with high-school idiocy, I get one last kiss before...
The Prime Minister of England breaks my nose, so I become a flock
of squirrels to seek revenge. But maybe I should I let it go...
My abstract sculpture just got fishier and fishier, til it grew these big red lips...
We unearthed a sacred treasure, but now a mob of believers are out to lynch us! I better fly...
CAUTION: SACRILEGE AND BAD PUNS
A man obsessed with blood and death disturbs me, but I have to admit I share his interests...
Next the blood comes home; a surgeon wants to flay my tongue...
Next, witch-children rebel against a bloody flossing ritual and fly away on broomsticks...
In a world where respectable men wear masks, an old, old man rebels in the crudest way he can...
I dream the universe runs on Bollywood rules. I can stand the constant singing
and breakdancing; what gets under my skin is that Bollywood Code...
The world's first all-bulemic band, Veronica and the Vomits, provokes a riot at our local punk club. So I go to
Anorexic Bootcamp where models learn self-defense under fire, as calories and fat jokes whiz by...
CAUTION: BARF, HORNY ANOREXIC, FOOD FIGHT
We're slaves on the moon. But we're slowly stretching our freedom in the shadows, undoing the Braid of...
The cake horse resented my taking one slice out of him; but he let me.
No second slice, though! He just laughed at me--through his bad teeth...
A Holy Cardinal enters my bedroom and demands I kiss his ring. I suggest something he can kiss, and...
CAUTION: CHRISTIAN MEGALOMANIA, PAGAN RUDENESS
An early dream-based sculpture carved out of dry white clay as if it were soft stone...
I'm trapped in an alien hotel, my true love has gone radioactive,
and the only way out is to turn into a giant, scary...
CAUTION: CLOSET LESBIAN. LITERAL CLOSET.
I was big as the world, so whole cars fit in my vagina. But men were selling women
to supermarkets, to be cooked & resold. So I crossed the Atlantic sea-floor on foot...
CAUTION: CAR SEX. NO, NOT SEX IN CARS...
DREAM: bisexual deer-people go on dates. Despite their fur, they seem shy about breasts.
WAKE: read Alison Bechdel's latest confessional comic. Bisexual phase, shy about breasts...
CAUTION: POSSIBLY PREDICTIVE; TOPLESS DEER
I get bullied into dogwalking. A biter--leaves a cat bloody. You'd think a talking dog'd listen. But Cheney...
The terror of Navy breakfast, the joy of filterfeeding,
how to marry pudding, and a sniper lunch with kisses...
My friend Linda and I are walking in the Castro, when a tourist girl jams her tongue in Linda's mouth...
CAUTION: SERIOUS TONGUE
Forced into a duel, I let my spirit fight for me using Boomerang Blades. But my
enemy becomes giant floating sticky lips! My spirit finds incarnation confusing...
I'm Joe Leaphorn, in (of all places for a Navaho detective) a coven in San Francisco watching a creamy...
I wake to find I'm a museum exhibit 15,000 years from now--a primitive man...
My parents' house is now a sex club. I walk in, and meet my soulmate! But in awkward circumstances...
CAUTION: SEX
A courtroom hostage-drama where I'm forced to commit... tracheotomy! And then the Gulf War begins...
CAUTION: CARTOON VIOLENCE
AL repeatedly drew a bizarre, recurring dream-guide named Kolchec; years later he met
SARA, who'd painted her dream-guide, a distinctive spook named--oh, take a guess...
CAUTION: WILL DISTURB ESP SKEPTICS
I'm watching MTV. Laurie Anderson gets inside my remote control. I try to change channels
and she turns my head into an apple. I grope for a potato peeler, and carve a new mouth...
The black bird hovered above my cradle, and several times struck me with its tailfeathers between my opened lips...
My dentist (a Haitian Mafia leader) sends a message to my dad (also a Mafia don) by dental cruelty....
I help a mutant boy find others like him, and learn why some prayers are ungrantable...
I'm a Romantic poet who defeats the curse of the fountain, to marry; but when our daughter's grown,
a new curse strikes me mute, paralyzed. And I mistake this for old age!
Then, in real life, my dad wakes up from a nap paralyzed...
I wished I could kiss my son farewell. That week, Ethel called. "I dreamed Ned kissed you, not me!
I was hurt. He laughed like anything and kissed me too..."
An orange tiger with wolf ears jumped on me. I was surprised but not scared, as if it were just a big dog.
The next day, shopping, my daughter thrust an orange wolf-eared hand-puppet in my face, jaws open...
A gengineered singer (born a cow, became a horse, then a shark, now a sexy Mare Chanteuse)
solves a mystery that stumped even Mr. Spock. Next day, I see a film--a mystery solved by a...
A child of radicals goes wild in Rio. When we bail her out, we find she's had a strange enlightenment...
CAUTION: UNSAFE SEX
I dream Public Broadcasting System actors rebel on camera and have an oral-sex orgy!
Next day, NPR has a call-in show, and suddenly they're arguing in favor of oral sex...
CAUTION: SEXUAL POLITICS
A coy, giggling giant orange bounces onto a man's bed, trying to seduce him, and...
My uncle mocks the racehorse he rides! Smears lipstick on this stallion, calls him a wimp... Why?
CAUTION: DREAM PUN, NUDE MARES
Martial-arts student Parvati just won't fight the teacher she loves (too much!)--
not even for her final exam. Instead she gets a rotary saw and...
Plums float through the autumn air, sending us airmail kisses. If we'll accept delivery...
Among the family portraits in the hall of my ancestors was this one of a formidable old... woman, I guess.
Floating in my parents' house, I get trapped in free-fall! How can I get a grip? (Nothing symbolic here!)
I'm in Santa Cruz with my friend, a shocking-pink stuffed toy cow
with sewed-on accessories: big red lips, a floral wig, and a third eye. I wake,
draw the dreamcow--and my sister calls from Santa Cruz to sing me a song about...
by Wayan; 1999/9/1; pencil mirror-drawing.
Einstein's tongue got its own poster, why shouldn't mine?
After all, even the Ein Tongue can't do this...
A sudden image of a woman whose other lips not only talked, they wouldn't shut up. Worse yet, they...
CAUTION: NUDITY
When I see two scary men on the trail, naturally, I swallow my skunk! I really don't recommend...
After Shaw's Arms and the Man eclipsed my own play The Land of Heart's Desire, I dreamt I was haunted by...
My family moves into a damp, leaking basement. My dad just sneers at us for fussing
about the cold, the damp, the mildew, the leaks. "I'll show you REAL leaking..."
DAY: a stranger screams "BITCH! Plant a TREE!" Thinks I'm female and wants to fight over an old bumper sticker?
DREAM: I'm a horse detective. In shades, lipstick, & high heels I try to pass as a mare. Absurd! A stallion in drag...
CAUTION: HORSE NUDITY. OH WAIT, THAT'S NORMAL.
Swedenborg cuddles a talking dog who asks after its old master, Swab, and then kisses
Swedenborg, grossing him out. But he wakes knowing just what his doggy pest represents...
An ancient pictograph inspires me to try a meditative technique: shrinking and letting myself be eaten...
CAUTION: DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME
I was late for something, so I opened my pocket watch and swallowed a bunch of numbers...
A comet grows hair, a girl named Rosalie becomes a bed of roses, writing in a beautiful
hand appears on a beautiful hand, and Sylvia becomes a talking forest bird...
I was warned Wolf-Cats turn on people, but I still befriended one. Now I'm looking down its throat...
A 'toon liberation dream. I cartooned a new self and slowly she grew realer, until she ran Disney...
CAUTION: FRANK SINATRA SWEARS
THROATS: Men put babies into giant throats inset in a funhouse wall;
SLOT MACHINE: I see a slot machine generating random art-speak phrases...
I'm walking down a tiger's throat, but it's not what you think. Diagnosis!
My friend suddenly couldn't roar. She's here too, exploring her own trachea....
I'm a modern girl facing pirates from the 17th Century Caribbean. Outgunned, but I
have something intimidating to bluff with: perfect teeth...
I'm in Houston, gawking at giant starfishy towers looming through the smog. Their shapes are familiar...
I dreamed my mouth was full of typewriter keys and a typewriter ribbon issued from the back of my head. Joan
was hanging out the window by the ribbon. I reached for her, but my hands kept hitting the space bar, and down...
A lipstick poem for that stickiest of holidays...
In our cult, we lie in vats of goo till we grow wings. But we're feared more than we knew...
CAUTION: SPECIST LYNCH MOB, NUDE IN SCHOOL, LESBIAN FEELINGS, OBSCENE CARROT
In my sister's house I saw a magazine cover showing that famous
national monument in the Black Hills: Mt Walrushmore...
Ari neglects Wendy till she doubts she's sexy. I show her she is. But am I using her too?
CAUTION: SEX TALK
I'm a girljock waiting to see a movie when a weredog in line involuntarily shifts
from dog to human, and a Berkeley radical takes offense at the symbolism...
CAUTION: SNIPPY ABOUT POLITICAL CORRECTNESS
A writer I meet is either flirting with me obscenely, or
advising me about eyecare, or... are those the same?
CAUTION: EXHIBITIONISM
A woman I had wronged set her pit bull on me! Hand in its jaws, I gave in, and we both began crying...
Miniaturized, smuggled over a border inside a she-wolf's mouth, I long
for where I got briefly hidden--her labia. But healing first, sex later!
CAUTION: FURRY SMUT; WEIRD SCIENCE (BUT REAL!)