I go on a date who seems bored till she takes me to the Alertness Gym...
Fleeing hunters, blocked by a cafe crowd, I fly up a long slope--but the cafe climbs on & on! At last
I perch exhausted on a peak, looking down on a now-alpine cafe above a sea of clouds. Next day...
I'm in a cafe in Narnia when the lion-god Aslan attacks a giraffe for the mortal sin of
dating a zebra. And why not? Oral Roberts University just banned interracial dating...
CAUTION: CRINGEWORTHY CHRISTIANS
I'm in a cafe listening to a world-famous musician. He wanders the tables
begging for spare change as businessmen talk over his signature song...
CAUTION: TRUMP AND COVID, SIGH...
On a bar bet, we seek God. We reach the Isles of the Blessed, but they're complacent. We want the wild
God, the real God, the Bad Taste God. Onward, pagan questers! Because we want to win our bet.
CAUTION: LAZY-ASS ANGELS
I meet a sex-kitten in the Underground Cartoonists' Bar, but her body language makes no sense to me...
CAUTION: UNDERAGE FLIRTATION... OR IS IT?
I don't know beans about right action, so Kokoro, master chef
of the Bean Bar, teaches me the stages of true mastery...
My sister & I try to sing an original, but every note summons old jazz greats, leaving us
no musical elbow room! So I quack like a duck. Nope! Giant ducks appear, and say...
CAUTION: RACIAL ANXIETY? GIANT DUCKS!
A sexy pool-playing friend in a short skirt leans over an
invisible, virtual-reality pooltable, but I'm blind to...
CAUTION: EXHIBITIONISM, TRULY CLUELESS GUY
The world's first all-bulemic band, Veronica and the Vomits, provokes a riot at our local punk club. So I go to
Anorexic Bootcamp where models learn self-defense under fire, as calories and fat jokes whiz by...
CAUTION: BARF, HORNY ANOREXIC, FOOD FIGHT
A visit to the Conches, a strange race of molluscs who are people only seasonally...
I'm on vacation, but cultists lick my feet--then turn on me, casting stones. But they miss.
So I wander the steppe for centuries, until I come to the City of Texas...
I DREAM I'm discussing art with a critic who's been hard on my paintings. But now he's friendly!
TWO HOURS LATER: he calls, interviews me about my new show, then publishes a nice review...
One of Aline Kominsky's comix has her in a bar and a guy asks "Que pasa, muņeca?" and...
CAUTION: CONVERSATIONAL FETUSES
Dinosaurs and tigers fill my music club. Not that it takes many to fill it. So spiky!
A dino bard croons. A tigress leaps onstage & snuggles up! Music hath charms...
Fighting alcoholism, I dream I drink all the booze in a bar, then wake up shaken...
so shaken I reach for the bottles by my bed and drink THEM, then wake up shaken...
and clutch my cat, wondering if I'm still dreaming--will I wake up again?
CAUTION: ALCOHOLIC NIGHTMARE(S)
Shipwrecked and claimed as salvage on Crete, Ed the writer became
a dishwashing slave! In contrast, Marie the musician...
My house is a bar that never closes. You know what a gay bar is. Well, we're the opposite: a....
CAUTION: BAD VIBES
I dreamed God was naked, selling cigarettes in a nightclub...
CAUTION: MONOTHEISTIC FALL
Green Day singer Billie Joe hocked a lugie on me in concert. I felt blessed...
CAUTION: EWWW
Some Christian oneirologists barge into the Haunted Firehouse. But I pose for nude unicorn photos, and...
CAUTION: DUMB CHRISTIANS, EXHIBITIONIST UNICORNS, ETC.
A Buddhist scroll shows me Hell Cafe, where diners become entrees. But I read the scroll
backwards! You can escape Hell just by walking out, against the traffic flow...
CAUTION: CANNIBAL SOULS
I'm a hobbit seeking Henry Fonda's haunted gold mine. And find it. Or is that chocolate?
But then I'm caught in a shamanic showdown in a bar where they serve real spirits...
An ink sketch in a magazine shows a new Ghost Dance invading city clubs.
But the (biased?) artist uglifies the Indians, horses and giraffes dancing...
CAUTION: MILD NUDITY; JAUNDICED ART/REPORTING
A children's recital of "Where the Wild Things Are" turns into a riot-orgy. And it feels... political?
CAUTION: WILD THING ORGY
A prisoner's allowed to see his middle-class lover only in a seedy bar by the jail. But she likes the place...
CAUTION: THE JOYS OF SLUMMING
Why'd Julie write a singles ad with insane, sky-high demands, when she just wants a nice relaxed guy?
My parents' house is now a sex club. I walk in, and meet my soulmate! But in awkward circumstances...
CAUTION: SEX
DREAM: I run into a couple I know. I get gridlocked. R.D. Laing gives me a transpersonal message.
DAY: I bump into that couple, get gridlocked, and hear R.D. Laing speak on transpersonal messages...
It's the 1970s. What's a lion to do? Get fern-bar camouflage: a suit and an I'm-a-bohemian moustache...
I'm in a loving animal dance troupe, but wake to find I'm alone.
For consolation, I eat at The Terrace, and meet stars. Not film stars...
My home's a huge maze. Find a clinic and a cafe. Cops appear, & claim I'm a woman named Mem Loi
& confiscate weird masks off our walls. Ugly masks, so who cares? Wait, one looks like a covid virus...
CAUTION: DREAMER'S A DOORMAT
From the punk clubs of Frisco to the Safeways of Si Valley to the vermilion sands of Mars,
Silky the were-nightmare fights for the Misfits against every cliche in science fiction...
I keep feeling I'm a reincarnated rainforest creature just passing for human. When all I want is...
CAUTION: TOBACCO
1: I sketch two deer-girls making videos. 2: I pull a man's nose off, and milk the scene for drama before...
3: My old boss is convicted of murder! 4: I wake and two friends interpret #3 as "Overwork is killing you..."
I wake again. My dream-notebook's blank. No friends here; their interpretation was a dream too....
CAUTION: NUDE DEER
After asking "Am I ready to say yes to someone new?" I dreamed I met my old love...
An open microphone in a San Francisco cafe. Others tell stories, sing songs, chant poems. But I
want to tell a shamanic dream! To an audience sure that dreams are dull, incoherent, meaningless...
Osento is a bath house that my friends all love. But women only. So I dream I change sex just to...
CAUTION: NUDITY, GRATUITOUS HAPPINESS
I stumble into a bar where the TV stars from my childhood are
drunkenly arguing metaphysics--Howdy Doody, Beany & Cecil, Flipper...
Dream-journal pages, Tarot's four Page cards, getting paged,and
a girl named Page--all warn me I lie to myself about what I want...
Love that hair, girl. A very seventies bar-monster...
I suspect the pinball champion of Jupiter is cheating. I try to scare her psychic confederate out of hiding...
A middle-class girl rejects me, and a newsman declares my politics irrelevant. "Liberal media" my ass...
CAUTION: POLITICS
I'm with friends in a cafe. A robot beggar scuttles in and says I must be a saint and give, give, give.
I eject the robo-nag. But it comes back in the form of an Old Testament prophet with the same spiel!
This time it takes fists. At last I give the nagging saint the old heave-ho, yelling "AND STAY OUT!"...
CAUTION: FUNDAMENTALIST BLASPHEMY
In a bar I meet a guy who claims the Army hired him to try
to inspire crops to grow taller by marching tall soldiers past...
DAY: Rowland needed papers for a legal case, but couldn't find where his father had stashed them.
DREAM: his long-dead dad told R.J. a lawyer R.J. he'd never heard of had them, 'but the man may need
some reminding', and gave details of Portuguese gold and a drinking bout. Next day, it worked. But how?
CAUTION: GHOST? E.S.P.?
Animal poets at an open mic. My turn! And I find... I'm one. A creature without grammar...
Ours is a mixed-race family, and my sister takes after the horse side. No hands, but can she sing!...
I bike round the ring of women on the stage. Oracles! Whoever speaks, levitates.
One advises me, but I can't act on it--too ill. "Gotta heal!" I blurt. My own oracle..
I dreamed of speckled eggs, Caribbean drug traffickers and of
almost drowning near a sinking boat...
The innkeeper insisted I try a strange-looking liqueur, a house specialty called "Tuccotine"...
Yesterday, Hitler marched into town. I was born before the Industrial Revolution, and am now about 200 years old...
My uncle Mac has a secret scheme to free us all from the Rat Race, but
his dancing mouse-headed robots (and climate change) get out of hand...
I wander a valley where unicorns love cyborgs but fear giant ants, who love unicorns but
fear cyborgs, who love ants but fear unicorns! And while the Three Tribes squabble, cave-monsters
sculpt them all. I set up peace talks between these four aspects of my tetrahedral soul...
CAUTION: SWEARING, DRUNK LIONS, CYBORG SURGERY, AND GOGGLE-BARFING
In a jungle river, I fish for giant kite-bass, then relax and have a drink. A lot of very drunk
porpoises dance on the bar. I worry their skin will dry out. Alcohol is so dehydrating!