Mounting Problems
Dreamed 2021/5/22 by Wayan
I'm having a numerical sex dream. That's awkward.
See, I'm a giant wolf, though I change a lot--my proportions, paws and tail vary from scene to scene--sometimes I seem part Chewbacca or Bigfoot. The only constants: huge, shaggy and toothy.
I fall in love with a human girl who's being threatened by interdimensional beings--they keep opening windows in the air and trying to snatch her. The aliens are high-tech but not too brave; faced by tooth and claw, they panic.
I try to adjust my changing body down to one still big enough to drive off her abductors, but small enough so sex is practical.
There's a formula for sexual compatibility. Two to the seventh power is the key ratio--the mass or volume of my paws compared to her human feet? In the dream, I work out that that equals 128, and this of course can be approximated by five cubed, 125, so my paws should be about 5 times as long as hers, or 120 cm / 4' long (not 155 cm / 5'; her feet aren't a full foot long).
But... this seems WAY too big for us to be compatible mates! Even double-size seems a stretch (hmm, no puns here). Surely quintuple won't work! Yet I double-check the formula and all my sources agree: not two cubed, two to the seventh!
Do we exist not in three dimensions, but SEVEN? If so, the visible dimensions--height, length, width--would each just double. If time's the fourth dimension, our lifespans might double too...
Or maybe... I'm smart as any human most ways, but what if wolf brains just can't multiply right?
Aoooooh! These mounting problems!
NOTES IN THE MORNING
Oh. "Awkward mounting problems". Sneaky dream pun!
Look how my dream turns Freud upside down, too--rather than nonsexual images expressing sexual frustration, here a sexual image expresses nonsexual frustration!
Plus that teasing mystical touch. Are we really seven-dimensional, not four?
It'd be just like us not to have noticed.
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