THAT DAY

In my drawing class, it's surrealism week. A roomful of earnest surrealists scribbling away for a grade. Now THAT'S surreal.

A geeky guy I don't know well peers over at my drawings, like the class dummy trying to copy answers off my test. He asks "Where are the little fairies you draw so well, you know, like... the Bondage Fairies?"

I feel creepy--he's the second person this month to compare my dream-pictures to that Japanese comic, which to me feels like coolly calculated porn. The Fairies aren't allowed much character, they're just sex objects--well, humiliation objects. But I'm sketching dream figures who are people to me--some sketches ARE me, literally, in different bodies. This guy's been leering at MY body... my dream body.

I try to stay polite. Maybe I misunderstood?

Nope! He assumes a winking, elbow-nudging, bad-boy camaraderie between us, over what he sees as my raunchy fantasies... as I simply try to record my dream-life. I hide my dismay, but... does everyone see my dream art as just smut? Smut dredged from the bottom of their own nasty minds!

THAT NIGHT

I dream of a large herbivore with cream-colored fur, faintly striped and spotted on her back. Slender and more gracile than a horse, shaggier and longer-tailed than a deer. Pretty. I wonder if she's an alien person at first, a variant of a krelkin perhaps, but this being is too small-headed to have much brain, and has thumbless paws not hands. Her aura feels simpler, too: animal.

She's curled up in a big nest. Around her in it, are smaller mammals, not her young but another species that often nests with this one, likes to sleep on top like cats do on humans. They form a patchy living blanket.

Although she's an herbivore, one of the small animals keeps pestering her until finally she snaps at it, and, possibly without meaning to, kills it in one bite. Sniffs and pokes at the little body for a while then picks it up. It won't quite fit it in her mouth; she shoves it in slowly with her clumsy paw. Bites and chews. A burst of blood. She licks the blood off her lips and paw. Ick.

Half my revulsion is horror that she'd betray these little animals that trust her, but I also identify with her. I taste that huge bloody furball in my mouth. And I have to chew it! Blood and guts and splintery bones... Force it down my throat...

The weirdest part is that her blanket of little furballs watch the whole thing calmly, then just go back to sleep!

They know she's herbivorous, this is an exception, they're safe...

I hope they're right.

NOTES IN THE MORNING

Our shared house has a vacant room; we interviewed a vegan candidate I liked. My housemate Lily asked her "Can you stand living with carnivores?" I'm vegetarian but not strictly vegan--it's not about dietary purity for me, I just don't want to hurt other creatures. So I'll eat some dairy products my body seems to need, and even animals with no brain (like oysters and clams). But my dream seems troubled--do I need to go vegan?

Wait. Is this really about food? I DID feel this creepy today, but it was earlier... in art class! That creepy guy... drooling in a predatory way over my sexy dream-drawings of myself and friends. He shook me. Made me want to hide my dreams. Exactly like being ashamed of my body.

I think the dream is saying "Don't let him scare you--he's not typical, just a creepy blip..."

I hope the dream is right.

World Dream Bank homepage - Art gallery - New stuff - Introductory sampler, best dreams, best art - On dreamwork - Books
Indexes: Subject - Author - Date - Names - Places - Art media/styles
Titles: A - B - C - D - E - F - G - H - IJ - KL - M - NO - PQ - R - Sa-Sk - Sl-Sz - T - UV - WXYZ
Email: wdreamb@yahoo.com - Catalog of art, books, CDs - Behind the Curtain: FAQs, bio, site map - Kindred sites