Confrontation alone has proved remarkably successful in stripping threatening dream figures of their power. Turning to face the tiger, the angry witch, and other such figures has transformed them into a kitten, a mother, and other smaller less alarming, images. It may be that what is essential is the courage to face the danger, not to crush it, alone or with help.

Psychologist Paul Tholey, at the Psychology Institute of Wolfgang Goethe University in Frankfurt, has studied lucid dreams since 1959. His findings, previously unavailable in English, are especially helpful. Tholey believes that the most effective technique a dreamer can use to disarm a threatening figure is "conciliation." He came to this conclusion after a series of dreams about his deceased father:

After my father's death in 1968, he often appeared to me in my dreams as a dangerous figure, who insulted and threatened me. When I became lucid, I would beat him in anger. He was then sometimes transformed into a more primitive creature, like a dwarf, an animal, or a mummy. Whenever I won, I was over come by a feeling of triumph.

Nevertheless, my father continued to appear as a threatening figure in subsequent dreams.

Then I had the following decisive dream. I became lucid, while being chased by a tiger, and wanted to flee. I then pulled myself together, stood my ground and asked, "Who are you?" The tiger was taken aback, and transformed into my father and answered, "I am your father and will now tell you what you are to do!"

In contrast to my earlier dreams, I did not attempt to beat him, but tried to get involved in a dialogue with him. I told him that he could not order me around. I rejected his threats and insults. On the other hand, I had to admit that some of my father's criticism was justified, and I decided to change my behavior accordingly.

At that moment, my father became friendly, and we shook hands. I asked him if he could help me, and he encouraged me to go my own way alone. My father then seemed to slip into my own body, and I remained alone in the dream.

I can't help wondering whether this beneficial result would have occurred had Tholey not first experienced being able to physically overcome his father in previous dreams.

In any case, Tholey concluded that aggressive behavior by the dreamer in a dream can have a cathartic effect in a short period of time without being therapeutic in the long run... On the other hand, submitting to a dream enemy's aggression by allowing oneself to be killed almost always led to fear and discouragement.

--Patricia Garfield

EDITOR'S NOTE

Overall, I concur with Tholey that an assertive but nonviolent face-off (neither fight nor flight!) is the best stance in dreams. It's won't work on all; a few of my recurring dream figures have been so consistently violent and unwilling to listen that I've had to fight to survive. Such figures may be legacies of battering I faced as a kid. Not all bullies want to negotiate! But it's always wise to try.

Curiously, game theory also finds that a friendly first move, followed by tit-for-tat responses (friendly for friendly, punishment for attacks) is a highly effective long-term strategy--it rewards co-operators and makes fighting costly. Some studies suggest an occasional turn-the-other-cheek move, to show you'd still rather cooperate--just not too frequent, or attackers misread you as weak. "I'd rather negotiate, but I'll defend myself" is the message you want to convey--pretty much echoing Garfield and Tholey.

--Chris Wayan

SOURCE: Creative Dreaming by Patricia Garfield, 1995 ed. (orig.1974), p.141-2

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