My friend Lou is a gentle owlish nerd. His ambition, his definition of cool, is high-rolling finance. He knows I invest, but I'm just not the mentor for him--I'm a social/ethical investor whose motto is "Get rich slow!" And Lou longs for danger. Behind his glasses lurks a romantic.

One day, Lou asks me to go downtown with him for moral support. He's landed a job/internship interview with a potential mentor he's always admired--a zillionaire in a glass tower.

But when we arrive, the lobby is locked! Lou waves at a janitor behind a glass wall but the guy just shrugs and goes on sweeping. The lobby clock says we're 40 minutes late! Traffic was slow, and he worried we were a couple of minutes behind, but that clock has to be way wrong.

Locked out of the ground floor of investing! First lesson of modern banking.

But Lou's stubborn. He pulls little pitons out of his pockets and starts climbing the face of the marble and glass tower. He'll show them motivated! He'll show them resourceful!

He trails a rope, and I follow him up. Reluctant, but I can't leave Lou to risk a solo ascent.

Four floors up, Lou spots our man, pries open his window, and climbs in. Whew! Gasping, sweaty, stowing away his climbing gear, Lou's already talking. He makes his pitch to the man behind the desk.

And it works! He passed the test.

Dream over, right? Well... not quite. I admire Lou's initiative, but as I listen to him and his mentor, their shared assumptions trouble me. I invest to make money--to create new wealth, create new worth by supporting good projects--good for all, not just for me. But I've followed Zillionaire's career, through Lou, and Zil makes no money... he just takes it.

But Lou worships the guy. Ecstatic over his acceptance into the Tower, he swears the Oath of the Intern:

"I hereby swear
To be a sleepless shark.
To guiltlessly sieze prey.
To let the Hidden Hand scrub the blood.
To siphon money,
To raid money,
To gorge on money,
To breathe money,
To BE money...

To get... rich... QUICK."

So shall I lie, congratulate Lou? Or voice my doubts? Maybe. But not here. Not in their glass tower.

NOTES IN THE MORNING

• Lou: symbolic. I don't know a shy brown googly-eyed finance geek, 'Lou' or not. Who acts like this? Maybe... my picture of mainstream America? Mild and dorky but longs to be tough and cool. And (despite the crash) still dazzled by 'Get rich quick!'
• Bank, 40 minutes late: a friend told me "We went to an appointment to refinance our mortgage and the banker who set the time was 40 minutes late! No apology, of course--they're bankers."
• Admire Lou's courage but not his goal: is my own financial planning misguided? I got an inheritance last year, and I've invested it ethically, but I haven't used it to fulfill any lifelong dreams. "Pie in the sky when you die" thinking!
• Climb outside a clueless structure: maybe this dream isn't about finance but Western medicine! I've been sick, my clinic couldn't diagnose it. I suspected Lyme, they wouldn't test for it. I went outside the system, took antibiotics, and got classic Herxheimer reactions: evidence it is Lyme. Insurance companies press HMOs not to test for or treat Lyme. If you have an undiagnosed chronic illness and even suspect Lyme:
  1. Best book: Stephen Buehner's Healing Lyme. Emphasizes diversity of symptoms and treatment protocols, where most books push a single pet cure-all.
  2. Best film: Under our Skin is a good exposé on the politics, though it ignores the nut & bolts of effective diagnosis and treatment; see Buehner.
• ACTION 1: Don't expect help from my clinic/health insurers. As corrupt as the bankers. That's who they learned from.
• ACTION 2: Patience. I was sick for 40 years. My motto must be "Get well slow."
• ACTION 3: Figure out my life-dreams NOW. And then act on them. Who knows how long I have? Don't let Sensible Investing make my choices--like those clowns in their towers. Look how those experts did!

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