I was on the run, with a very strong man who was tan with black hair. He seemed to be on my side, but neither of us were very nice people. I thought "If this were a sitcom, we'd have to be the villains." But everyone we met was even worse--real villains. It's why we kept running.

As we fled through a circus tent, we met a lycan [a werewolf or human/wolf mix]. I found his brown skin and long brown hair quite handsome, but he snarled at us and I knew he wanted my partner in crime to hand me over. I don't know just what he had in mind for me, but no matter--we ran on.

And then a cartoon pirate ship sailed up, hovering just off the ground. Out came Captain Hook--not quite Disney's Hook, but that style. He declared "I have a new secret weapon!"

And out of the ship swam a blonde mermaid. She looked Disneyish too, like a sister of Ariel the Little Mermaid. She waved a magic wand, chanting a word like "arrebella" or "aquafina".

Hook turned to her and cried "It's called aquafina?" incredulously.

But the word worked. A giant cartoon map reared up behind her, unrolling... then turned into a great wave that crashed over the side of the ship, engulfing the circus in a flash flood!

The water instantly turned a filthy brown, as if this was the flood scene from "Spirited Away." I treaded mud and looked around. Nearly everyone was washed away, but Captain Hook had grabbed the hovering mermaid and hugged her. He was laughing and squealing with joy at this show of destruction.

The mermaid grinned. "And the next time Jamestown pisses you off, we can make them regret it."

They shrank as I was washed further away from the ship. I paddled, keeping my head above water, watching things float past me. One of these things happened to be an erect pink penis, sticking out of the water. Though it was pink and the lycan guy was brown, I was sure it was him. Besides, this cock was enticing me, so I grabbed hold. I've heard that if you give a drowning man a blowjob or handjob, you can save him--give him air. "Like a snorkel" I thought, ready to see if I could make him spout, and then...

...then my mom woke me up. Just when it was getting interesting, too.

NOTES IN THE MORNING

• Villains: I had been watching the TV show Smallville the night before, and I found the villains more fascinating than the heroes.
• The Little Mermaid, Spirited Away, brown flood: Recently I saw Disney's Little Mermaid and Miyazaki's Spirited Away, which does have a brown flood.
• TV/film references: I was in Kansas for a week with relatives. Their TV is always on and they have more DVDs than I have ever seen outside a video store.
• The disembodied cock: Not sure. Possibly just my horny teenage-boy's mind getting the better of the dream.

EDITOR'S NOTES

• Lycan: since Maddie recognized the guy wasn't human, presumably he had some visibly wolfish features, but she gives no details.
• Arrebella: "a rebel" with feminine noun ending?
• Aquafina: fine water, delicate water? Contrasts with the foul flood that follows! Or... fin-water? Mermaids!
• Or was the word aquarelle? Watercolor! Maybe the giant map was gouache watercolor--most Disney cel animation was.
• Jamestown: not just a funny line! Two recent theories for the horrible disease-rate in early Jamestown: 1) they settled right where the tide brought back their own sewage. 2) a spy loyal to Spain slowly poisoned the colonists with arsenic, slipping it in soups and stews. Either way, the idea of foul water destroying Jamestown is very current. And don't forget the Jamestown Flood (different Jamestown, different century, but equally calamitous)
• Flood, cock as flotsam: the flood in "Spirited Away" is full of junk; it cleanses a polluted river. So the flotsam here could be old junk getting cleared away. Does the floating cock mean something sexual has gotten unstuck?
• Mermaid vs cock: Hook grabs a levitating mermaid as his anchor in the flood; Maddie grabs an underwater cock. Such opposites! Female water-being in the air, vs male air-breather in the water. What's it mean? Just "different strokes for different folks", or something more?
• Sex/gender: in the dream, Maddie's male; in the waking world, physically female, gender fluid, body image male, orientation... complex.
• Grabbing on: every shipwreck-tale has a storm where our hero's swept overboard and only escapes drowning by grabbing a spar. I always wondered what they were. Now we all know. Thanks, Maddie.

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