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STRUCK BY THOUGHT

dreamed by Chris Wayan (each verse is a short dream; 1956-82); poem, 83/9/12.

"One wing can't fly; but even two wings need a heart" --Pogo

Dreams are blunt! My longings slap my face.
The warm touch of mind to mine,
Or an animal body's ease--and then
The old ache and groan of
Overbrained bipedal beasts
Burdened beyond our bearing.

I was a wild horse. Dream sketch by Wayan; click to enlarge. I AM THREE

I was a wildhorse, swooping free.
Red desert dust-plumes waved
At the sweet trumpet sun--
And then guilt reined!
Who'll we trample if we run?

I was a seal-person in a dome on the moon. Dream sketch by Wayan; click to enlarge. MOONDOME

We're seals. Lie heaped in domes
On the moon! Rookeries on
Air-beaches, in the old dust sea.
In low-gravity mid-ballet, we
Fluid seals are struck
Earth-awkward by thought.

I was a small winged girl on my green-maned boyfriend's shoulder. Dream sketch by Wayan; click to enlarge. GYRLFALCON

Then I was an angel, but no dove--
Hawk, banded, talon-sharp
Perched on the shag-shoulder
Of my greenmaned lion love.
Who were those Morlocks
Rumbling in dread deep? We
Feared, but dove in dark--

I was a winged being on a world so polluted I had to wear radiation armor so heavy I couldn't fly. Dream sketch by Wayan; click to enlarge. YTHRIAN

Then I was an Ythrian, a winged sphinx
Lonely in a world of flightless Men.
Yet... to ride the air! Would be
Near-worth an outcast's pain.
But in that life I never flew: instead
I hobbled roads, encased!
Lead armor for the alpha-spitting waste
Their industry injected in the world's sore vein.

I was a bluewinged princess. Dream sketch by Wayan; click to enlarge. MIGRANT

Then I was a girl bluefeathered,
Quasiprincess of our breed.
We land to rest in a human coastal town
Along our flyway every fall and spring.
But windowleaping worries them,
So we creep their stair.
I try to squeeze--
too wide my wing--
L'albatros Baudelaire.

NOTES

For years I felt crippled, not because I was inherently defective (albatrosses can walk!) but because others made the way too narrow for our kind--most institutions just have no room for freaks. The Ythrian dream made the point even more harshly. Like many child prodigies I had allergies and chemical sensitivities; couldn't eat, drink, live, work, even breathe in many human environments.

Still, as the horse- and seal-dreams pointed out, it's not all others; a prodigy's early-flowering conscience can also weigh a child down, crush the innocent beast. Me, at least.



LISTS AND LINKS:
Intro/General: dream poems - I'm Just Not Myself Today - gender-bent and species-bent dreams - giftedness and genius - digital art
I Am Three (recurring dreams age 2-3, 1956-57): horses - guilt - a related dream: I Am Three
Moondome (feverdream/vision 1983/9/12): living on Luna - seals and selkies - Owl ballet on Venus - Swing dance on Lyr
Gyrlfalcon (dream, 1971/11/26): hawks - angels - flying - gender-bent & species-bent dreams - H.G. Wells - this full dream: Gyrlfalcon
Ythrian (dream, 1978/12/28): other worlds - aliens and outsiders - radiation - armor - chronic illness - a 2nd dream inspired by Poul Anderson: Witweet
Migrant (dream, 1982/10/5): guides, duty and royalty - towers - ascent - frustration - an earlier bird-girl-frustrated-with-humans dream: Freebird Tower
More migration dreams: Alder migrates on foot due to Flock Wisdom; Wayan leads the Wapato Birds and Migrates through Fire

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