1: The Stack

I'm at school, feeling useless, bored and sick again. I couldn't finish my math homework, I froze in chemistry, I'm not worthy of my brain, I'm a stupid gray lump of skull pudding. In algebra class last period, I didn't understand a thing. The white glare of the marker board hurt my eyes. Nobody in that class I can talk to, no way I can pay attention, can't draw either--somebody would see. No, not the fact that I'm drawing in class; they're used to that. But today I felt like drawing something personal and sexy, and school isn't the proper setting in the least.

Finally I went to grab some paper from the shelf. I couldn't draw, but I could at least write out a dream for the web. I was going for graph paper, which has lines helpful for writing. But then I saw the box of white scrap paper, used on one side, and thought, waste not... So I took a stack and started writing.

At one point I had to turn the whole lot over to hide what I was writing--and noticed for the first time what was printed on the other side. It was a photocopy of a student's test scores. Misha's.

Isn't this confidential? I wondered, checking out the other papers. As I wondered where my OWN test scores had got to, I got a funny, shivery feeling. Then I turned over the last paper in the stack--the one I had written all over. It was mine.

Why is it that every time I get really down on myself, I do something like this?

The Calculator

Oops. That's not quite the end of it. Ten minutes ago I came in the chemistry classroom looking for my lost calculator, but couldn't find it. So I sat down at a random spot to write "The Stack." I just moved a bunch of papers and trash out of the way to make more room for my journal, and...

Voilà! My calculator was hiding right next to my hand, under the trash.

Wow. Double score! I still feel useless, bored, and sick, but...I guess someone in my head IS paying attention, after all.

2007 Note

While not examples of undeniable ESP, I found these weird enough to write down. I've had other not-quite-coincidences in this gray zone. To me, they seem to be hinting that parts of our minds are more active than we realize, paying much closer attention than we think we're capable of. The underpinnings of clairvoyance.

They weren't random; they sent a personal message. My unconscious mind was whispering, You're not as dumb as you think you are. For which I am grateful.

Editor's Note

I agree that synchronicity and apparent ESP often seem to crop up not to tell you some cosmic revelation or to deliver a practical warning, but just to bolster your self-respect when it's low. I've had nearly identical experiences--see below.

--Chris Wayan

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