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Siberian Tiger versus Muppets

Dreamed 2020/12/9 by Wayan

I'm in the northeast corner of a square little bedroom, bundled against the cold coming through the west wall--a sliding glass door to the back garden. It's open. Cold.

So cold that I realize my bed has to be... Siberia. My toes are pushing up blankets down at the foot, forming the Ural Mountains. My pillow's Kamchatka, with its much higher peaks. Uh-oh, that means this northeast corner I'm huddling in is Yakutia or Anadyr--the coldest part of Asia! After Antarctica and Greenland, the worst weather in the world. Siberian tiger enters my bedroom. Dream sketch by Wayan. Click to enlarge.

And one of the few parts with Siberian tigers. So I could be attacked. If I am, what to do?

Oh. Move the huge handmade plushies on my bed like Muppets. Ailura the catgirl, Fiveheart the unicorn, the Mertiger... Wood bones, foam rubber muscles, fake fur--but with their gleaming eyes, a bear or tiger will think they're facing some large, confident, weird-looking creatures.

Unless tigers read auras too--and do I have evidence they do? Maybe it's as rare in cats as in humans...

Anyway, I bet I can distract the predator with one hand moving the Foam Furs subtly, while with the other I reach for my childhood desk at the bed-foot, by the window. Because on it I see a claw hammer. If that tiger goes for me, claw it on the nose! And wave my hammer and hiss. Encourage that tiger to slink right back out the garden door.

Since even Siberian tigers don't want trouble with feisty packs of... uni-mer-cat-weirdos?

NOTES IN THE MORNING



LISTS AND LINKS: beds - hot & cold - cartography - Siberia - tricksters & weird dream humor - tigers - fear - sculpture & living dolls - the Foam Furs - intuition & auras - two years later, a Siberian Tiger Calls My Bluff

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