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She Took My Ball

Dreamed by Matt, before 1994, as told by Gayle Delaney

Matt and Gemina could not understand why Matt was having trouble maintaining an erection. They had enjoyed a robust sexual life for six months. But about a month after they began living together, the difficulties surfaced. One night Matt dreamt:

I was playing ball with my big sister, Cindy. We were about five and eight years old. Everything was going fine until she decided to show me who had the power, and ran away with my ball.

I was furious, but felt helpless to chase her. I said to myself, I'll never play ball with her again.

Matt [linked] the anger and helplessness he [felt] in the face of his sister's competitiveness [with] to Gemina's power play that led to their moving in together before Matt was quite ready. Gemina had presented Matt with an ultimatum: "either we live together, or we end our relationship." Matt was resentful and furious at Gemina for having extracted his commitment via her threat... he didn't want to lose her, and in order to stay in a relationship with her, he felt he had to agree to her demands. His older sister had taken unfair advantage of his relative weakness just as he now felt Gemina was doing.

As he thought about the dream and his decision not to play ball with Cindy again, he saw that he had found an effective, if painful, way to retaliate. Matt's dream led him to see that his current temptation to retaliate against Gemina by leaving her would be a childish response. What he decided to confront directly this time was the power play itself. He needed to let Gemina know that emotional blackmail was hurting both of them.

SOURCE: Sexual Dreams by Gayle Delaney (1994 ed) p.124-5


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