It's a weird scene down at the office. My friend Chris is tied naked onto a wooden frame.

No, not Christ, just Chris. Those are only rags around his wrists and ankles, not nails through them. His torturer, a balding executive guy in a suit, looks satisfied with that. No need for blood--tying Chris up is enough. Why, he's racked with pain!

Or so it seems. But Chris is a full-time artist's model, used to holding poses for hours; so this bothers him far less than you'd think. In fact, he's wriggled free, but keeps his hands up, winding the rags around his wrists as if he's still caught!

And when his boss walks into the next room to consult a filing cabinet, or breaks to get a sandwich, Chris slips off the rack, sits naked on the boss's desk, and opens a sack lunch and snacks.

He snacks with an eye on the door, though. He's hired to suffer without breaks. At the sound of steps in the next room, he hops back into position, racked with pain, just before his boss looks in!

What IS this, slacker-style martyrdom?

He's even been chatting softly on the phone with a girl he likes, explaining the whole situation--he wants to arrange a date with her, but whispers "keep your voice down, or my boss'll hear us. We'll have to wait, I'm all tied up at the office."

Aw, you saw that line coming...

NOTES

• The rack: I just saw an episode of Doctor Who set in the far futures; rich folks gather on an orbital station to watch our aged sun go nova. Most are aliens or drastically evolved people. Cassandra, "the last real human," is just a face in skin, on a frame just like the rack in my dream! Cosmetic weight-loss surgery slowly removed all the rest. Cassandra even talks rather like Michael Jackson. Rose, a time-traveler from our era, tells Cassandra off--"Last human? I've met trampolines with more humanity!" So maybe my dream's about vanity and bogus self-improvement.
• Chris is an artist's model used to holding poses: true. He's comfortable with nudity, it's holding long poses that can be tough. But he's learned how--breaks and stretches. So maybe the dream's saying "This is a pose I'm used to faking; not as bad as it looks." But what pose? Tormented artist?
• Business, pretend for the boss: I just saw Jacques Tati's old film Mon Oncle, set in a "modern" factory. The workers only act busy... when the boss is around.
• I've been mystified by the bizarre images in a recent dream called Pixy Concussion, so just before bed I asked "What was that all about?" Here's my answer! I pretend to be... what? Busy? Artistically tormented? Racked with pain? Self-improving? But only when my conscious is looking...
• Boss forbids dating, not just getting off the rack: this bossy side of me wants me alone, not just martyred! My, my my...

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