THAT DAY

I just saw Sixteen Candles starring Molly Ringwald. She's sweet, if a bit sappy--seeking a romantic fantasy of love that seems strictly symbolic to me.

But the other characters are embarrassing. The piggish student who just eats drinks and fucks (or tries)... what a cliche! And the Asian student is worse: an insulting, racist cartoon. I'm amazed Hollywood thinks we're still at this level.

THAT NIGHT

On a long journey, I return to a courtyard I've seen before. Molly Ringwald is there, staring uneasily at an addition to the fountain. A smallish pale-gray spotted pig, tied to an elastic cord, hangs from a high beam right over the water jet. The pig bobs and swings, a living yo-yo.

A yo-yo in pain: hidden in the jet are some narrow metal prongs like a giant's fork or a trident. Bounce, jab, bounce, jab. I wonder if the pig's spots are really scars.

Every time the pig struggles, it changes the yoyo rhythm. So far it's been for the worse--swinging into the jet when it's low, shooting up higher, falling lower, harder on the tines.

But what if the pig gets lucky and squirms exactly out of phase? It might stop hitting the spikes at all! Then it could work on breaking or twisting out of its bonds. But right now, it's shrieking in pain, hitting bottom hard, getting cut and bruised. Horrible to watch, yet we can't see how we could reach it...

And then the pig gets lucky--damps the bounce! Undistracted by pain, it quickly squirms loose and falls in the pool--one last ooooof! It lies half-under, stunned... or dead.

It raises its head. Just stunned, then. The pig gets up... and charges toward us, furious and seeing no one else to blame for its long torment.

We leap onto a table and pull our feet up. It circles, growling and snorting, looking for revenge...

And then... as I wake... the pig turns human.

NOTES WHEN I WAKE

• The pig = passion! Molly Ringwald's suitors are portrayed as pigs... but am I any fairer to myself? All tied up in worrying I'm a sexist pig!
• It looks hopeless, but the dream suggests if I keep struggling, a chance combination of factors--dumb luck--will set me free.
• Pig runs wild: I fear my sexuality will run wild if set free!
• Retreat to tabletop with Molly Ringwald = the high ground of romanticism! "I don't just want sex, I want LOVE!" True, sometimes--but always? Equating or confusing sexual desire and romanticism means trouble...
• My piggishness once free doesn't devour us and finally turns human: patience! Trust myself a little!
• ACTION: Let myself go. Let myself go. Let myself go.

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