Not A Cat
Dreamed 2022/11/27 by Wayan
I live in New York, I think--big stone towers and not much green. I wander town, endlessly. Don't know why. I'm barefoot, always. Tough soles; been like this a while. Years. I carry a small valise from my childhood in the 1930s, that's all.
Am I homeless? Unclear.
I'm not being coy, I just don't know. My memories are... multiple. I've experienced a dozen forking timelines at once. Confusing, but they're all similar, so it's bearable. I leaf through my stories as if each life is a page in a scrapbook. But not consecutive, as in traditional reincarnation; simultaneous lives!
Each fork has an image of me. I'm female in most, male in a few, but I all look similar--a staring, wide-eyed waif. I'm child-size in every memory... over decades. I never grow.
Am I immortal?
On the street, people usually ignore me--step around me, noticing me just enough to avoid me, but never meeting my eyes or answering my words. I'm forgettable. I'm lonely.
Am I a ghost?
Today I'm climbing a spiral stair in a big stone building. Being ignored has advantages. In bad weather I can sleep in hotels. And I like to explore. I avoid elevators, always take the stairs. Elevator buttons don't reliably work when I push, like I'm only half-here. That's okay, climbing's good exercise.
As I climb, I pass a crew carrying big paintings down the stairwell. They don't panic at the sight of me--which is odd. On the street, I get ignored--but not on stairs. Usually, people meeting me indoors see me as a cat, and on stairs, see me as a big cat--big as a mountain lion!
So their lack of panic shakes me. It's just not normal. My normal.
Am I fading?
I wonder. What job? All those paintings... are they taking down a show, is this a museum? Doesn't seem like it; looks like a fancy old residential hotel. They're not movers--just art, not a stick of furniture. Are they robbing some rich guy's penthouse?
I head back down the stair to the lobby and out of the building--whatever it is--snickering "If you're gonna burgle, burgle big..."
Intervene? Billionaires, burglars, growing up, getting seen, living, loving, hating, dying... you all shun me! Why should I take sides? I walk between you all...
And I wake.
NOTES IN THE MORNING
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