THAT DAY

Grit my teeth and do my taxes. Gonna hurt this year. Turns out I owe THOUSANDS more than I thought. Ask my dreams "Should I pay for Obamacare or go without this year?" It cost about quadruple what they said, and the care was awful, maybe worse than none--I got misdiagnosed.

THAT NIGHT

I'm 25, 30 years old, and chasing two women: one's a younger girl, very thin, brown skin, gifted, intensely attractive. Strong mutual interest, but we haven't gotten into bed yet. The other is a plump white woman slightly older than me, less gifted but more casual about sex. Since I'm nervous and high-strung, that helps.

Then... she asks me to MURDER her rival!

Next time I see her, she asks again, and I glibly say "Yep, I already did!" when I'm really unsure... I doubt I really did, and definitely know I shouldn't...

But she's delighted that I came through. "You didn't just promise to bump her off like the others! Most guys are all talk..." She rewards me with a wild sex romp!

I feel good with her, and if she'd asked me to make the relationship exclusive I'd have at least considered it... but asking me to KILL rivals? Isn't that just a tad extreme? I seem to think this justifies my own lying for sex. If I AM lying. Maybe I really DID kill her and just don't want to admit it to myself. Hazy memories.

Afterward, in bed, I become aware it's a dream, and think "A highly symbolic dream too. The sex rewards some action I took today, I just know it. But what? Biting the bullet and doing my taxes?"

Even when I realize this much, I ignore the sleaze! Lying for sex, sheesh.

NOTES IN THE MORNING

• Casual misbehavior:
  1. 1: Daniel Mendelsohn, in an article on opera, says it highlights bad behavior cuz it grabs the listeners--virtue's dull. But he's rethinking that, after Satyagraha (opera on Gandhi) made him cry.
  2. 2: my anger at my health insurer--I paid a good $10,000 last year & got thoroughly worthless care. I was healthier uninsured!
• rivals, intrigue, lying: the presidential campaign! My guess is the younger smart brown girl stands for the Clinton camp, and the older, jealous white woman is the Trump faction.
• "Sleaze": I only notice now that I applied this label to utterly unequal sins: lying versus murder! And was my lie even selfish, for sex, as I kept thinking? Or to protect the other girl? She's surely safer if her homicidal rival thinks she's already dead...
• In bed with a someone who may mean Trump: In bed with Trump's position--rejecting Obamacare! Maybe I've been slow to admit Obamacare's failed me just because I loathe its chief critic.
• ACTION: Be sneaky. Support Obamacare in general, but face that I got burned. Don't renew my coverage! But vote for Clinton, not the... homicidal maniac? Harsh view of The Donald, but... I did ask my dreams. They see him as vicious AND credulous. A bad blend... especially in a president.

A YEAR LATER

Creepy image, yes? In bed with a homicidal sex-changed version of Donald Trump? Ewwww! And yet the sex was good, and seemed like a reward.

I think this dream used drama--sex, jealousy, lies--to advise me on more abstract matters--politics and healthcare! Freud obsessed on nonsexual dream images disguising sex--trains entering tunnels, etc. But dreams can just as easily do the opposite--use sex imagery to clarify nonsexual, hard-to-visualize issues. Don't let Freud's dogma blind you!

Oh--by the way... I learned later that around when I dreamed this, my health insurer unilaterally dropped my coverage without telling me. I didn't need to feel guilty about dumping Obamacare. It had just dumped me.

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