THE DREAM

I've been house-hunting--I need to find a shared place, my one-year sublet is ending. Today I visit a long, narrow, beautiful home in the woods.

A black panther is the senior tenant. She's full of energy--she bounces around. Physically big too--as big as a human, almost as big as a lioness.

I think "A leopardess this big in a home this small... we could feel crowded. And yet... her energy feels so FUN."

NEXT DAY

I go househunting. In Redwood City I tour a home on Roosevelt that I'd share with a grad student, Kathy. It's long, narrow, pretty, woodsy, just as in my dream. And she's the black panther! Short black hair, energetic, barefoot, with a lean catlike strength. Rather like Nastassja Kinski in Cat People, but if anything, more feline.

Trust the dream. Apply for this one.

2020 NOTE

Out of dozens of places, Kathy's was my favorite--my dreams endorsed it (and her) before we even met! But I didn't end up living there. Endorsement must be mutual. I looked sallow and sick--like a junkie. I wasn't; I was fighting chronic illness (largely, it turned out, a severe gluten allergy that doctors had tested me for and firmly told me I didn't have. Wrong!) I didn't look fun. So every home I really liked rejected me. I settled for a so-so place for a few months, then left Silicon Valley for San Francisco. Where, over the next few years, through trial and error, I cured myself.

So why tell you a dream that led nowhere? I never saw Kathy again, and I can't prove to you I dreamed of her the day before we met--how could I? But as I read my fifty years of dream-journals, it's no single dream that convinces me of... well, anything. It's cumulative evidence from a thousand dreams like this one that eventually, through trial and error, cured me of the knee-jerk scientific materialism of my childhood, and made me face my actual experience--both waking and dream.

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