Today I was a man, but now in dream I am a woman who's possessed--now and then-- by half a dozen souls or powers diverse. Although not totally unlike--every one so butch that, ghost-ridden, my stance and gesture convince strangers we must be a man. Are they hidden facets of me, or her, or the long dead stepped in? They're sure more forceful than she is. I am. Way more assertive--effective--get the job done! But I worry I'm losing myself. I mean her. Self. We see with the weird yellow eyes of one. As through a tinted lens or champagne glass the whole world turns citrine, infused a fierce chartreuse. I wake at dawn. Through blinds leaks a lemon light, just like dream eyes! One minute, stunned-- the sun a golden egg, hill-nested. Then the firebird's flight. Unearthly light is gone.

NOTES IN THE MORNING

• Yellow eyes see the spirit world:
  1. In G. Willow Wilson's Alif the Unseen, the jinn brother and sister have yellow cat eyes.
  2. In Ursula Le Guin's Buffalo Gals, Won't You Come Out Tonight?, a girl in a small-plane crash loses one eye. Coyote replaces it with a yellow eye of pitch that sees the animal/spirit world.
• Who are the other five spirits? Autism, genius, gender dysphoria, species dysphoria? Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome? (EDS is a mutation causing many of my... quirks.)
• A few hours later the lemon world turns out to be predictive--for a single minute: confirms that "yellow-eyed" meant paranormal. A self-flagging dream! And those are the twin reasons I'm posting this. Foresight, yes, but the dream also prompted that my lemon-tinged sight was shamanic. As if the dreaming mind doesn't just foresee odd moments, but knows it's doing what the waking mind can't--or won't believe it can!
• Here I part with Jung, who clung to the notion that dreaming's wise but archaic--primitive. No. Those yellow eyes knew what they could see.

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