I win two free games of Kick the President.

You play it in a tank, where remote-controlled grayscale effigies of dead presidents kick a ball or a hockey puck around--and kick each other.

I inherit George Washington and I kick everyone. Enjoy it so much I pay a dollar for an extra game, and just practice till I'm adept at maneuvering old George to kick ass.

Then I switch to a higher denomination, the one I really want to play with--Tom Jefferson. I want to see what happens between him and women, especially his slave lover, Sally Hemings. Think I can learn from this--how not to behave, at least.

But I can't see him! My puppet president's behind a cement column, and I can't maneuver him into my line of sight. I can make Jefferson lash out powerfully at whoever's near, but I'm running him blind. Don't know who or what I'm kicking.

I can't learn a thing from this! I walk away disappointed from Kick The President.

Because what's the point of kicking, what's the point of winning... blind?

NOTES ON WAKING UP

• No color, puppets, kicking = I just saw the old black and white film HOLIDAY. They stage a puppet show, then ritually kick Johnnie for defecting to the yuppie party downstairs... Open class war, anti-capitalism... ya don't see that much in Hollowood these days.
• Kicking = I got snippy to my housemates today because they talked about clothes and I feel fashion-blind. Didn't kick them, but...
• George Washington = 1) the $1 bill. 2) "I cannot tell a lie."
• So kicking with Washington = telling small-denomination (but painful) truths, to hurt?
• Jefferson = my fear I'll exploit lovers like he used Sally Hemings.
• Jefferson's a higher denomination bill = I worry more that I may be a selfish lover than I worry that I use either lies or the truth to hurt.
• A column blocks my view of Jefferson = WARNING! I may have control now, freedom of action about sex and dating, and that's new and very good... BUT I can't clearly see what I'm doing! And while I'm blind, all I can do, really, is... damage. I need to be very cautious about romantic involvement... till I can see myself clearly. Because... as William O. Douglas, that Jeffersonian justice of the Supreme Court, never said:

  "My right to swing my foot ends where your ass begins."

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