Sandra and I went to an amusement park with Brenda, Jake and Kizzy. We were seated outside to watch a movie. Sandra and I went into a theatre because we saw a poster for an act that was very unusual. It was a woman who could talk by farting. We thought "we can't miss this."

As we entered the theatre a woman who worked there came over to us. We said it was a shame that the theatre was being torn down for a development and that this was the last night. Then the woman said "During the show the farting woman must leave the stage several times to have a shit."

In the theatre we sat with Christine McVie. Christine saw John Hurt and introduced us. John and Sandra got on very well and she told him about the connection we already had at the Soho House in London. He laughed and remembered Norman's comment.

John Hurt took a seat in the balcony. Mick Fleetwood came in and sat next to me. He was very pleased to see me and put his arm around me as we talked. Then Mick saw John Hurt and because he knew him Mick went up to the balcony to say hello. When Mick reached John Hurt, John did a stunt fall to the floor and acted (very well) as if he was dying.

Now for some reason I had to leave the theatre. On the way out I saw the farting lady getting ready to go on stage. She was very pretty and looked right out of the 1920s. She was wearing a very sexy negligee with her bottom exposed.

I then took an orange traffic cone, put it on its side, and began to ride it like a skateboard through the amusement park and the large parking lot. I was really good at this traffic cone riding. I arrived at an entrance to a building. I think there was valet parking, but I can't remember the rest of the dream.

Source: Larry Vigon's book Dream, 2006. Unpaged, dreams untitled. Title added only as search aid.

EDITOR'S NOTES

1. When I dream of celebrities, I assume they’re symbols of whatever they're known for. But Vigon isn't me. He's a design artist in LA, and these are people he knows. Symbols aren't "one size fits all." You have to look at your particular life. This is why dream dictionaries don't work!
2. I wanted to include one Vigon dream with a scatalogical theme, since he has quite a few and I don't. This one won because it was more funny than gross, AND it has traffic-coning! Now that's original (I've flown and skated and ridden whales, but never coned). Fart-acts aren't new, by the way; they date back to the 19th Century--a guy on the French stage billed as Grootna farted tunes.
3. Argh! Not only do we never learn if she can really fart-talk intelligibly or if it's just hype, we also don't get to see whether the parking valets really knew how to drive and park that traffic cone...

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