I'm trapped in a murder mystery, set on a horse ranch in Marin, California. A killer is stalking a woman with a multiple personality. I know two of the victim's personalities well--see them as friends, not facets.

Gradually, another woman becomes the chief suspect. I'm upset, because she's my anima, Silky. She works with horses here; she's the heiress to the spread. She's gentle, playful, just doesn't feel like a killer to me.

The detective in the case is Sergeant Dee. Dee's a shamanic dreamer like me, who suffers from multiple personality disorder; that's why they chose her for this. An MPD expert, from inside!

I ask "Anything new?" Dee doesn't speak, just slides her hand and forearm between my legs from behind, till her hand cups my crotch. I'm shocked! Then I see this isn't some weird, crude come-on: she's holding a picture with a wooden frame. Her crude "flirtation!" hides that she's secretly showing me The Clue on the back of the frame: a set of rounded bites taken out and smoothed down.

I recognize these notches! They can only come from one thing--a lathe in a nearby woodworking class I took. The number of students who had access is quite limited, and only one's on our suspect list. And that one is one of the main personalities of the victim herself! Pieces fall quickly in place.

Yep. Personality A wants to kill B! Yet A doesn't seem to realize that this'd result in her OWN death! I'm appalled that a personality who seems sane could be blind to the consequences of killing its own host body. Despite appearances, not a whole person... not really sane. Creepy.

Yet though I'm upset she's the killer, I'm also relieved it isn't Silky. Only if the cops can arrest Personality A (and how will they restrain her?), will Silky be cleared of suspicion in the horse-training world, too small and gossip-ridden for professional impartiality. She must be actively exonerated... or move away. I wonder if the horse country around Bay Meadows and Woodside, near my childhood home, is far enough. Maybe Lennon was right:

"The world is just a little town
Everybody's tryin' to pull us down!
I.... solation."

• Dee is a powerful shamanic dreamer I know, who has MPD from early abuse. She's been working as a security guard in Silicon Valley, going to school. Almost a cop but not a detective. Still, she handles her multiplicity better than most MPD victims.
• My own rough childhood left me without full-blown MPD's memory discontinuities, but with a weak conscious and highly autonomous parts who often take over. I don't black out--just feel hijacked.
• The dream seems to warn that one of these sides of me hates another side, blind to the fact that sabotage hurts all of me, including itself. Trouble!
• At least Dee wasn't groping me, and Silky's not the killer! My conscious does have allies I can trust.

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